I'm Not Skinny, But My Jeans Are!

Just because I’m packing a few extra pounds on my 5’4’’ frame, there is no reason I can’t be stylish and fashion-y and professional -- and on a budget. I am always on the lookout for good deals, and I do not follow or covet any trends.

Honestly, I’m not a huge of fan of random fads or trends in the first place, as the word fad implies that it is a temporary thing. I prefer to make sure to wear clothes that fit my body type, are flattering, are classic, and of course affordable.

Not classic like designer suits, just fairly simple pieces that can be easily mixed and matched and work in different outfits and styles.

Perfect example: I have a pair of black skinny pants with a white tuxedo stripe down the side. I wear them with t shirts or tank tops on the weekend and flip flops, and with work blouses and sweaters during the week to work, with ballet flats. They are super comfortable, flattering, and I got them for $25 from Kmart!

Today's feel-good outfit: my black skinny pants, a button-down that I stole from Boyfriend this morning, a V neck argyle sweater that I bought 7 years ago at a New York & Co, and beige/shiny gold flats from Payless. The only item I'm wearing that was purchased in the last 6 months is the pants!

Trends come and go, popular fashion changes in the blink of an eye, but a well-fitting sweater and work pants never go out of style!

I have spent most of my life as a comfort-first girl. Shorts or jeans and T shirts, either flip flops or sneakers, and the same watch and necklace that I’ve had for years. Even in comfort-mode, I always attempted to be wearing well-fitting and body-flattering clothes, but still, it was casual at best.

At work, I have long had a similar theme. Work pants that are comfy but fit, and a blouse that is usually soft, plus a soft cardigan. Again, comfort has been at the forefront.

I recently realized that I don’t have a personal style. “Comfortable” isn’t really a style choice, and I feel like that makes it sound like I’m one pumpkin-spice-latte away from wearing yoga pants and a man’s undershirt in public (I’m not. I don’t even own yoga pants!).

Since that realization, I have been on a mission to find a style that works best for me. Mostly, that has been buying things that I always liked but never thought I’d wear, and then actually wearing them. My expanding wardrobe now includes dresses (I always thought dresses wouldn’t look good on my body type), skinny pants in tons of colors (great for work! Comfy but fitted, can have them in every color, totally work appropriate if they aren’t denim), and ankle boots. Blazers that are more fitted to my body, pants that are tighter than I used to wear, and even the occasional belt around my natural waist!

I still wear pants, ballet flats, and cardigans, but I’m figuring out how to pull it all together in a way that makes me look my age, and makes me feel good.

I think one of the biggest fashion crimes I ever committed was wearing clothes that were too big on me. I’m not a skinny-minnie, and I think that I thought larger or more billowy clothes were masking my tummy. But looking at them now, I realize that they just made me look bigger! Trust me. Try wearing a baggy top and taking a picture. Now simply tuck in that same top into your pants, barely at all blowse it, and take another picture. It’s hard to see the difference in the mirror, especially when you’re self conscious, but you’ll be able to see it when you compare the two pictures. Just by tucking in that baggy top and having it closer to your body, you’ll actually look slimmer -- exactly the opposite of what I once thought.

I buy some pieces from one of my favorite stores for work clothes, LOFT, almost exclusively from their semi-annual big sales, where they do 40 or 50% off of already-on-sale items, and I do my shopping from LOFT mostly online, as the online store has a lot more variety and sizes of the clearance items than the physical stores, and luckily, their sizes are uniform, so it always fits. Bonus is that if I don’t like the stuff I buy, returning them to a physical store is really easy and you don’t have to mail anything anywhere. LOFT is more expensive, so I don't really buy anything full-price there, unless I just HAVE to have it...which is not often.

I also buy a lot of more lower-end pieces from places like Target, Kmart, and TJMaxx. It’s often more hit-and-miss of finding the things you want at these stores, but the prices cannot be beat! And a great pair of pants is a great pair of pants, no matter where they come from.

I am definitely budget-conscious. After deciding I wanted to find more of a style and revamp my wardrobe, I didn't just go off and buy a whole new wardrobe! I cannot afford that, and neither can most people I know.

What I did was go through all my clothes and turned a critical eye to the actual fit. If it fit and looked good, I kept it, and if it didn't fit or was completely hideous, it was either right to the donation pile, or considered a “maybe.” If it was only a bit too small or large, I generally kept it, if it was something I just really loved, I might try to find a new use or way to wear it.

I kept a large amount, actually. And since I’ve always tended to buy things that can be mixed and matched, I had a great base wardrobe! Bright solid-colored tops, neutral bottoms, and colored cardigans are all very versatile, and each piece can be dressed up with a new pair of pants, a printed top or skirt, or just accessories.

When I started making purchases, it was with an eye specifically to fit and how it fit with my new style, never an eye to trends. I’d never really worn skinny jeans, wrongly assuming they wouldn't look good on someone who wasn't skinny. I now have several very versatile pairs! I own them in black, teal, hot pink, and a great gray. I found sales and only bought the things that were going to fit my new look and flatter my body, not just anything that was on sale and fit!

I kept an eye out for statement pieces. I found an amazing red blazer that was only $35! I found a great pair of flat ankle boots in a gray that goes with almost everything I own, including all my new work dresses (I bought 4 different dresses on LOFT.com during their big sale recently and got them for $9 each, in my size!!), my colored pants, and more. The boots were only $23 at Payless!

You don’t have to spend a fortune to find your style. I am 28 years old, and I am finally figuring out my style now, and it feels really good. It makes me feel very adult-y. 

But it also makes me feel really confident. Instead of just feeling “meh” and comfy in clothes, I’m feeling more confident and pretty, and looking forward to getting dressed for the day, because I am dressing my body, not hiding it. I am totally embracing this. I’ve always felt really good and beautiful on the somewhat rare occasions that I would dress up for an event, or wear my suit for an interview, and I wanted to have that feeling every day. Confident in myself, happy with the way I look. This is all quite self-actualizing!

Of course, I still wear shorts and flip flops on the weekends!! Some things never change!

I'm, I'm Unapologetic

I started writing a new song. I’m calling it “Unapologetic.” Which, really, would be a dolphin-flippin’ sweet name of an album, too. If I were to ever put together an album, pretty sure that’s what I’d call it. Also, dibs on the album and song name “Unapologetic.”

I CALLED DIBS. It’s mine now. Also, it’s mine because I came up with it and wrote it and it’s my intellectual property. Similar to calling shotgun, except that this is real and legal. And stuff.

Here is the main part of the chorus for this song:

“You don’t have to like me,

I’m not looking for approval.

I don’t care if you disagree, and

I don’t need your applause to validate me.

I know who I am

I know for what I stand

I know what I believe

And I won’t apologize for the truth.

I do what I want, and

I’m, I’m, I’m unapologetic.”

...it sounds better with my melody and not just as words on a page.

I find that a lot of the songs I write are about standing up for yourself, being confident in who you are, and also, of course, love. It's pretty nice to realize that!

Sappy love songs are sappy. Epic 80’s power ballads are not. They are amazing and fun and great to dance to.

Speaking of love songs, Boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years, and we have never had a song. We can never agree! I keep suggesting these amazing songs that are ubercool and fun, and he always says no. They are either “too sappy” or “too old” or “stop suggesting ABBA songs” or “how many times do I have to say no to your Motown suggestions?”

Which is ludicrous. Motown is amazeballs. Go listen to some Temptations and then get back to me. And who doesn't love a good ABBA playlist? Hello...Dancing Queen??

One of the songs I tend to sing in public (and at home) a lot is “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. It goes from sweet and love-y to power ballad and back. How can anyone not love that song?? Sing it out loud. Trust me, it’s superfun to sing. If you’re a really terrible singer, you can sing it in your head, if you want. Your choice. I’ll listen to you, even if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket. I might wince, but I’ll listen…

On New Year’s Eve this year, Billy Joel was playing live at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, and they flashed to him on the NYE program, the Dick Clark thing. And he rang in the year with “You May Be Right.”

It was perfect and Billy Joel is amazing and if you don’t agree with that, then meet me in the parking lot at 3 today for some explosive hand gestures and some ridiculously harsh smack talk, because IT IS ON.

I think Boyfriend and I have found our song! (He is not in full agreement yet. I'm working on it.) How does this not describe us perfectly?

“You may be right

I may be crazy.

But it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.

Turn out the light,

Don’t try to save me.

You may be wrong, for all I know

You may be right.”

Billy Joel's fierce face.

Now that that epic dilemma is solved, what shall I tackle next?

I leave you to ponder this question: Why do the drivers in NY always drive like they are in a constant race for the Holy Grail? Or, as if they are in Mario Kart?

Discuss amongst yourselves.


***UPDATE:
When googling for a good image for "unapologetic," I learned that stupid Rihanna has stupidly stolen the name "Unapologetic" as an album name and I AM DISPLEASED.

Proud Mom of a Penguin Baby

I JUST ADOPTED A PENGUIN.

His name is Sir Philip Waddlebottom, and he and I are going to be superbestmegafriends!

Some people get married. Some people have babies in their late 20s. And then there's me. And my friend Megan. Grown-up adults who now own penguins. BOO YAH.

My mother finally has the grandpenguin she’s always wanted!

I'd like to introduce the world to my penguin baby, Sir Philip Waddlebottom! He's adorable and I love him so much. He's a 5-year-old Magellanic penguin. So far, it seems as though he’ll be one of those cool guys who go by their last name, because people are refering to him as Waddlebottom already, and welcoming him into their lives. I think he might be the unofficial mascot of my work, too.

Waddlebottom in his little burrow!

He lives on Magdalena Island, near to the city of Punta Arenas in southern Chile. He loves fish, swimming, and long waddles down the beach. My friend Megan's penguin baby is named Sir Stewart Patrick, and his burrow isn't far from Waddlebottom's burrow! Who knows, maybe they're best friends already and go on adorable penguin adventures together!

This is where my beloved Waddlebottom lives!

I get a lot of amusement in thinking about sending out formal birth announcements for Waddlebottom. Like actually going to Walgreens and having his picture and an announcement printed up and physically mailing them to my family and friends.

People already know I love penguins. I’ve certainly made no secret of that! Everyone also knows I’m kind of weird. I don’t think it was surprising to anyone who knows me at all that I went out and adopted an adorable 5 year old penguin. Some people probably wondered why it took me this long!

Even if you aren’t interested in adopting an actual living penguin (and why WOULDN’T you be interested in that?!), check out seabirds.org and see what they are working towards and the conservation efforts they put in. Adopting is not expensive, but if you don’t want a baby penguin or seal or something, you can always just donate to their conservation efforts!

Waddlebottom and I are going to have a wondrous life together. We’ll take walks, and of course go swimming, and he’ll probably love the slide at the playground. I think I’ll put one of those child-leashes on him and take him everywhere with me. If anyone tries to say anything about him, like at a restaurant or bar or something, I will look them straight in the bellybutton and tell them he’s my seeing-eye penguin. Can they truly refute that claim? Probably not easily and without a few phone calls, which would give me plenty of time to finish my meal and head out, or pay for my groceries, or whatever.

Here's Waddlebottom's little burrow-home.

I love penguins. I love my new penguin baby. My mom has already expressed her happiness at being gifted with a new grandpenguin. Who knows, maybe she’s already knitting him a blanket or something. Not that I’ve ever once known my mother to knit anything.

Once, I thought I’d learn to be a knitter. A friend taught me how to knit, and I spent weeks knitting at night while watching TV, and eventually gave my mom a hand-knit 8-foot-long scarf in various colors. It was not the most beautiful thing in the world, but at least I accomplished it! It certainly turned out better than the time I thought I’d become a scarf-wearer, and I made 3 different kinds (pinterest projects, they actually came out pretty well!) and bought like 4 or 5 different colored ones. They have pretty much never been worn. I’m attempting to become one of those girls who wear dresses to work. I bought 2 cute comfy looking dresses online the other day. They should arrive tomorrow, and we’ll find out if that’s going to be a thing. Dresses require leg-shaving, which I don’t really have time for in my 6-minute morning showers before work, so we’ll see!

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to check out Waddlebottom, he and I are very happy together so far, but it’s only been a few days and he’s only 5. We’ll just have to see how it goes when he becomes a surly teenager!

Check out the Seabirds.org website to see how you can donate to their conservation efforts of penguin, seabird, seal, or sealions, and even adopt your own! And feel free to gush about how adorable my little penguin baby is!

If Waddlebottom has babies, I hope they look like these fluffy bastards. SO FLUFFY!

The Giver Movie Gives Me Sadness On The Inside

I am a reader. I love to read, and I’m not afraid to say it! I get teased for reading on my Kindle all the time, and some of my colleagues have begun calling it “kindling.” I don’t know why reading is so crazy! Reading is the BEST!

Escaping into a brand new fantastical story, a world I couldn't have invented that comes alive on the page, new people to meet, places to discover, and things to see.

I know a bunch of other people who are also readers, and one thing we have ALL said at one time or another is: “The book was better! I can’t believe they left out/changed so-and-so in the movie!”

Some books translate really well into movies. A good example of this is White Oleander, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter, and the Hunger Games series. I mean, sure, they left out a good chunk of narrative, but all the important parts were included, it was a fun movie, and the main characters stayed pretty true in the transition. All in all, good adaptations that left out some things, but stayed fairly true to the original story.

Then we have The Giver.

I first read Lois Lowry’s The Giver as a kid, then again in middle or high school for required reading, and reread the whole quartet (FYI, there are 4 books in The Giver’s series: The Giver, Gathering Blue, Messenger, and Son) a couple of years ago as an adult.

The thing that resonates with me in Lois Lowry’s coming-of-age saga is that the main character, Jonas, is only 12 and is starting to realize that what he has always known and believed is not how the world really is.

It’s not a true dystopian future story, where something terrible has wiped out most of society, and suddenly there is a controlling government and factions of dissenters. It’s not a love story, and it is not really an action story, though the book does have some action and there was some sort of not-really-explained "ruin" full of war and violence that led to The Community.

I read an article recently that referred to The Giver as a fable, and it’s really a great analogy. The Giver is the story of a possible future reality, in which none of us feel real emotions. We don’t have terrible anger, senseless rage, jealousy, or even love. Those feelings are simply repressed. There are no rebels trying to change the world, people are pretty content and seem happy -- as happy as one can be without knowing the feeling of true happiness.

The Giver is a book that makes you think. The people in the community do not have the freedom to choose, not who they marry, or to even have their own kids. But no one really seems bothered about this inability to make their own decisions. Jonas starts having a few emotions, and then becomes the new Receiver of Memory -- his career, as assigned to him at age 12 in a big ceremony.

When he begins receiving memories from the previous Receiver, Jonas experiences real emotions, sees colors for the first time, and even experiences negative emotions like hunger and suffering -- two more things he has never known.

Let’s try this again: Jonas is 12. These people have no real negative emotions, not about their lives, the rules, each other, or the controlled community in which they live. They do not “love,” since they cannot feel it. They can feel affection and contentment, but the all-out teenage-angst love-infatuation of typical teenage movies is not something you see in this novel. 

In the movie, Jonas is suddenly 16. They give him a love story with his friend Fiona, and completely change his relationship with his best friend Asher, creating conflict and changing Asher’s personality. They even change the relationship with Gabriel! They forced The Giver to become another standard Divergent/Twilight/Hunger Games young adult action movie that have become so popular.

The problem isn't that they moved away from or changed some things from the book, the problem (to me) is that they fundamentally changed major pieces of the story.

In the book, while he does have a couple of friends, Asher and Fiona, they are not a large part of the story, really. He really doesn’t have that much interaction with Fiona, outside of volunteering together, and Asher is his best friend and a serious kid, and not a drone pilot. The book is about Jonas learning what used to be, before “the community” existed, before all earlier memories were erased, before there was no such thing as different races, and no emotions.

The book is a thought-provoking look at what some people may still believe could be a Utopian society, with no war, no choices, no rough or deep emotions, and the coming-of-age story of a 12 year old boy, learning nothing is what it seems (people being “released” and such) and what exists Elsewhere, and from long before the Community.

The movie is a now-standard action movie, a young adult dystopian future story of intrigue, fighting for change, and suddenly a 16 year old main character. In the book, the ending is meant to be ambiguous (though you find out what happened in later books in the series), and in the movie it is, of course, more definitive.

I could not be more disappointed in the movie version of a beloved and interesting novel.

What are your thoughts on movies being made from favorite childhood books? Do you have any examples of great adaptations or really bad ones?

One for Waffles and Waffles for All!

I love waffles. I would eat waffles at any time, it does not need to be breakfast or brunch. I have a waffemaker, which my awesome parents got me for hanukkah, and ive made waffle-shaped cookies in it, quesadillas, waffles, and a lot more. Waffles are awesome and even have tiny cups to hold the delicious syrup.

LOOK AT IT.

I could write Shakespearean sonnets on waffles.

If I were to run for president, I think one of the issues I’d address would be literacy, since reading is so important to me, and I have a close personal relationship with my Kindle. Nothing can come between my Kindle and I. We are together, and we don’t care who knows it. Don’t ask, don’t tell? I don’t think so. Kindle and I shout our love from the rooftops. I talk about how great my Kindle is to strangers on the train all the time. I’m personally responsible for at least 7 people purchasing a Kindle. Amazon should pay me to be their spokesperson. Amazon? I’m waiting! It’s quite easy to contact me!

Another issue would be waffles. Clearly, the world is not eating enough of them. First of all, it’s hard to be sad while eating a waffle. Secondly, they are inherently better than pancakes, what with their tiny cups to hold the syrup in place and soak in correctly, and thirdly, if you don’t like waffles, then you are so wrong that you don’t know how to be right and I can’t be your friend anymore. That’s it. That is the line in the sand of our friendship.

IT'S MAGNIFICENT.

Another would be penguins, but just because I love them.

And dinosaurs. Recently, a dinosaur bone was found in Montana with soft tissue still in it! Blood vessels and more. HELLO? We are missing an incredible opportunity for dinosaur cloning. What? We can clone sheep and kids (think twins and other multiples. The government is clearly hiding something here.), but we haven’t attempted a 68 million year old dinosaur cloning experiment? This is a thing that we should do. Like, yesterday.

If possible, I’d like to order mine in miniature. I’d walk it around with one of those super-useful child-leashes, and call it something fun like “Mr. Snuggles” or “Killerface the Third” (First and Second would have probably accidentally challenged some large toddlers or something and lost).

Point being, I like waffles and wafflemakers and all of the wonderful things that you can do with them. The world should really embrace waffles more than they already do.

AND TINY DINOSAUR T-REX CLONES AS PETS. I think we should all ponder that for awhile and then get back together to discuss.

But until then, enjoy these waffled foods THAT ARE NOT WAFFLES.

BROWNIES made in a waffle iron!

HASHBROWNS made in a waffle iron!!

ERMAHGERD, COOKIES IN WAFFLE IRON.

I've made cookies in a waffle iron. THEY WERE AMAZING. They looked like waffles and tasted like amazing chocolate chip cookies and my mind was then completely blown. It was awesome. You should really do this. I cannot stress enough how delightful and wondrous this was. Really, I should look up a thesaurus and put like 47 more positive adjectives describing waffle-cookies.

10 Things I Learned Between College & Now

I should start by saying that I graduated from college young. I was 20, about a month shy of turning 21, and am now about a month past turning 28. So when say between college and now, it’s actually a bit over 7 years, and is the bulk of my 20s. Much of this I also started learning in college, so it could actually stretch back 10 years, from when I graduated high school.

Now firmly ensconced in my “late 20s,” I feel like I have some knowledge that I can cram into your brain. Whether you like it or not!

I love being 28. Just like I loved being 9, 17, 23, 27, and everything in between, and will adore being 35, 43, 57, and so on.

Reality of life: we either age, or we die. Those are literally the ONLY two options. No point in fighting it, might as well enjoy the process.

That being the case, I choose to enjoy and anticipate getting older, and the new experiences each year brings. I choose to hold on to my mostly-unflappable optimism and embrace the new years, instead of kicking my heels or feeling old at being “almost 30.” Feeling old is silly anyway. You’re either old or you’re not, but I’d certainly rather be old and loved and surrounded by life and family than the alternative! Besides, old people can be retired and travel more and say whatever they want with no fear of reprisal. I think being old is going to be AMAZING.

So what have I learned since 20? Has my journey to 28 taught me anything particularly useful or worth sharing? I think so!

10. Hangovers get worse the older you are. Learn to drink in moderation. No more crazy all night keg parties for this girl! I have to be up at a reasonable time tomorrow, and I don’t want to feel like my head has been sawed off and resewn badly. Trust me. Enjoy social drinking, don’t get wasted anymore. It hurts worse as you age! This also feeds into the way that I no longer want to go out and party all the time, like I did in college. I prefer quiet nights at home, or fun outdoor activities. I found out I love that. I also love sleep a lot more than I did at 20!! I can’t be out until 3 am on a Tuesday, I have work the next day and I will be super useless on 3 hours of sleep!

9. Life as an adult is a lot like high school. You still have popular kids and cliques, and inane arguments. But unlike high school, you can choose to remove yourself from most of that. A good way not to piss people off? Don’t discuss religion or politics with strangers or acquaintances!

8. I learned that it is much more important to me to be healthy now than when I was 19. You start to realize that yeah, maybe pizza for dinner every night is not the brightest plan. Maybe you should exercise once in a while, and start to eat a little healthier. It is around this time that if you didn’t before, you start to cook at home more often. You want to make yourself healthy now, so as to not be REALLY unhealthy in another 10 years. I learned that SLEEP becomes a much higher priority now to me than when I was younger! I go to bed earlier than back then, I pay a lot of attention to any sleep issues I have, and I was willing to pay a lot more for a newer nicer bed, than I ever did when I was younger.

7. You have fewer friends. This one is actually a great thing. You still end up with a lot of acquaintances, like that girl from work you always say hi to and chat about your weekend, or that guy from your apartment building you nod at in the hallway and who will sign for a package for you, but your core group of friends tends to dwindle with age, until you’re left with the really important and special ones. The ones who will be there through thick and thin, and will always be on your side when you hate someone or something, even irrationally. I could hate someone my best friend has never met, and she will back me up and complain about what a terrible person they are and offer to beat them up. That’s real friendship right there.

6. Dating changes as we get older. What I wanted out of a relationship when I was 19 or 20 is drastically different from what I need out of one now. Our perspective on dating changes. The type of people we date can change. I am no longer interested in anyone approaching the typical high school “bad boy” of my high school years. I want, need, and deserve (and have!) a guy who knows who he is, who is honest, and who will laugh at life with me. As I got older, dating was a little less about the current moment and a little more about the longer-term potential of the person. Mutual core values became a lot more of a conversation topic, too!

5. Being happy at work and in your career is so much more important than money. For me at least, I learned that as long as I have enough to pay my bills, that money is in no way a deciding factor in a job anymore. Money is nice and all, but not hating my life 40 hours a week is even nicer. Feeling like I make a contribution to a company I care about, now THAT is a great feeling. Figuring out what I want to do in a career was and still is an ongoing process. But learning has been interesting and informative, and invaluable in my overall happiness. I now understand that being happy at work is easily the best thing you can do for overall happiness in life, especially when you consider the sheer amount of time you spend there (rivaled only really by the amount of time you sleep)!

4. Financial responsibility is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than we gave it credit for when we were young and stupid. It is ridiculous that no one in college teaches you how to do your own taxes or the real responsibility of student loans and credit cards. You are so much more aware of your financials as you get older, and of how important it is to be out of debt and saving for your future. I care so much more about being able to afford a decent house someday than buying random toys and clothes that I’ll lose interest in fairly quickly anyway. Having money in savings is a cushion, a nest egg, and a security blanket for me. A quiet night at home not spending money is often more interesting for me than a crazy night out.

3. I learned that family is forever. You actually always sort of realize this growing up, but as you get older, you realize that some friends are toxic, or negative, or will turn away from you. You’ll still have your close friends, but you realize how important it is to maintain a great relationship with your siblings and parents and extended family. These people have known you forever, love you, and will continue to be strong emotional support the rest of your life. You really realize that more in your mid to late 20s, and stop taking them for granted.

2. I learned that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We can’t make people do what we want, we can only ask them to. We can’t change people, and even if we could, why would we? If someone changes for YOU, then it’s not real. People can truly only make changes for themselves, because it is what they want for themselves, in order for it to stick. I learned about accepting people for who they are and loving people because of our differences, not in spite of them.

1. The most important thing I’ve ever learned: You get more confident in yourself with age. You settle into who you really are, and learn more about yourself. You become comfortable with yourself and learn who to surround yourself with. I was incredibly lucky to have a strong female figure in my life: my mom. My mother is 100% sure of who she is and is happy to be that person. My mom does not care what you think of her, and will continue to stand up for what she believes in, regardless of popularity. She was a teacher for forever and day, and in her classroom she had a sign that said “What’s popular is not always right and what’s right is not always popular.” And she truly lives by that statement. My mom is strong, loving, and absolutely true to herself. And because of that example, I grew up being confident in myself and my abilities, strong enough to hold firm in my beliefs, and not caring what strangers think of me. My moms security in herself made me secure in myself. This is the single greatest gift my mother gave me, and one I hope we can all give to our children. Being proud of who she is is the thing I admire most about my mom.

Huh. I guess that means my parents were right, all those times they tried to give me life advice as a kid. Not that I listened then. I had to go and figure it out on my own.

Fresh Princess of Brooklyn

Obviously, this is required to be sung to the tune of the Fresh Prince theme song.

Now, this is a story all about how

My location got flipped, turned upside-down

And I’d like to take 10 minutes,

While I don’t eat pork,

And tell you how this Jew moved from Florida to New York.

Just south of Tampa, born and raised,

In Hebrew School is how I spent every Tuesday.

Sitting there, learning from the Siddur

Wishing I was playing kickball at the school.

When a couple of hours a week were no longer enough

Suddenly it started getting even more tough.

I threw one little tantrum and my mom got mad

She said “Study your Haftorah and get your butt upstairs.”

I sang in the Temple and lead the services,

Finally became Bat Mitzvah’ed, no longer nervous.

If anything, I can say I quit Sunday School that day,

And finally went back to the neighborhood to play.

Weren’t many Jews, maybe 7 or 8,

In my high school, so I decided to move

Looked at Brooklyn

I was finally there

To sit on my throne, another JAP with cab fare.



....Sometimes I think I might have too much time on my hands.

So this is certainly different, right? But I was in the mood for a parody, and I was thinking about how it's so cliche for Jews to move down to Florida from NY, and of course I went the opposite direction.
Yeah? Well who cares what you think? This makes me laugh, and that's good enough for me. :)

Here, enjoy 2 pictures of Will Smith! lol one of my favorite lines, "Damn, you got some big feet."

This is my 'detecting stuff' face.