On this, the Anniversary of Your Birth

I recently turned 25. I like to joke that it’s time to have a quarter-life crisis. You know, trade that sports car in for a minivan, and start dating older men. I find it hilarious that people freak out over turning 25 or 30. With the average life expectancy in the US rising, being 30 is practically still a baby!

I have my whole life ahead of me. I’ve only been out of college for 4 and a half years. Hell, I still refer to things with “half” added to them. I noticed when I was 24-and-a-half. I’ll notice again this December when I am 25-and-a-half. I love these milestones. Birthdays, holidays, other people’s birthdays. I get as excited, of not more so, about other people’s birthdays as I do my own!

It’s because I love buying gifts for people. Two of my best friends in the whole world, Mike and Chris, turn 25 today. Because I live in NY and they live in FL, this is the first year I am not able to be around. I am, however, still able to buy them gifts!

My friends know not to expect something practical from me. Practical is from my mother, your mother, their mother, maybe their well-meaning-but-not-quite-getting-it significant others. I don't give practical to my best friends. The ONLY exception to this is when it is something they actually need and specifically ask for. Otherwise, I’m hitting the toy aisle.

They do it too! Among recent years, I have received: a slip n’ slide (yes, we played with it), a bubble wand, a huge thing of water balloons (with convenient filler nozzles), and more.

This year, I hit up Toys R Us online! So not only do they get cool gifts, which are NOT socks, but they also get to receive a package in the mail. And everyone loves getting presents in the mail. It’s one of those things, like fireworks and Halloween, that take us back to a time of youth and excitement. What could it be? Shake it a little, look at the address label. And finally, rip it open in excitement and glee. And for those few minutes, we don’t care where the packaging went, or that we have to clean it up later, we don’t rip the paper off carefully, and we use our hands, nails, and teeth, before finally resorting to going off and finding scissors for that ONE inevitable stubborn piece of tape we have to cut through.

They are going to love it! I can’t spill yet, as they read this blog and haven’t received it yet. BUT, I can tell you it’s fun, silly, something their parents wouldn’t get them, and completely impractical for an adult.

Bet you $10 that they are even more psyched to receive it since reading this!

Happy 25^th birthday, Mike and Chris Kilborn. AKA 2 of my best friends in the whole world.

PS Emily (AKA other bffeeee), I love you dearly and wish I could have made a supercool blog post about you on YOUR birthday, but I didn’t have a blog at that time. Please accept my undying love and affection, and laughing while kicking your husband out of bed so that you and I can indulge in girl talk without him, as a substitute until next year. :)

Dear Bruno Mars

Dear Bruno Mars,

I really like your song, ‘Grenade.’ It’s super catchy and I find myself humming it or singing along to it all the time. However, I have a couple of questions for you.

Instead of volunteering to catch live grenades for this woman, which admittedly is both a little sweet and kind of creepy, perhaps instead you should be analyzing WHY people are hurling grenades and blades at this woman. Does she deserve it? Is she simply getting her comeuppance? If that's the case, you are standing in the way of rogue justice.

Also a mindbender: How would jumping in front of a train in any way protect or save this woman? I guess I can see where your point though, by jumping in front of the train, YOU no longer have to deal with her. But she would still be out in the world, creating havoc and suddenly with no one to catch grenades being thrown at her face. But in what way would jumping in front of a moving train and getting mowed over protect her? Doesn’t she have eyes? Why in world was she on train tracks to begin with? There are signs posted and everyone knows it’s dangerous! If it’s for the squished and flattened pennies…you’re doing it wrong.

Lastly, I have a more perplexing question. How are you so in love with this woman? You said yourself, she's mad, bad and friends with the devil. She had her eyes open during your first kiss! (Side note: how did you know her eyes were open during the kiss unless yours were, too? Both people, eyes open, first kiss—awwwwwkward!) You couldn’t have dated her that long, if you knew she wasn’t that into you. How did you fall so hard?

To be fair, it’s a really fun song to sing along with, and I annoy the boyfriend with it now and then, too, so that’s definitely a plus.  

Please respond with a 5 paragraph essay using the correct TREE method and MLA format.

Have a great day!

Jyss

I Am So Uncoordinated

I love baseball. And football, but baseball is my main love. Some people think it's boring, my mother included. My poor mom! Not being much of a sports fan, she was forced to sit through all of my little league softball games, and later high school swim meets, as well as my brother's high school football games, in which he was on the marching band drumline.

I really love sports. It is unfortunate, really, that I am so incredibly uncoordinated that me actually playing sports is hilarious. I don't mean it to be. I really try. But I am one of those people who trips over their own feet when walking in a semi-straight line. Completely sober. On flat ground.

Last year, around November, I dislocated my elbow and sprained my wrist after crashing to the ground in a crosswalk. I had to wear a wristguard and sling! When I looked, there wasn't even anything in the road I could have tripped over!

Now, I am a spectator.

But sometimes, you are in the right place at the right time to be a spectator. On Saturday, July 9th, I was in the stands to witness baseball history. Derek Jeter, #2 on the Yankees, and has been a Yankee his entire almost 20-year career, hit his 3000th career hit! And it could not have been more exciting if he had planned it.

2 outs, a full count. There's the pitch! Oh, and it's a foul ball! Another pitch, another FOUL! Everyone is chanting Jeter's name and have cameras ready. A last pitch, and CRACK! A homer out over left field! The crowd went nuts, the jumbotron replayed it a zillion times, and the whole Yankees team was waiting at home plate to hug and butt-slap Jeter when he got there. He waved to the crowd, and a bunch of (apparently) pre-taped interviews with players, coaches, baseball greats, and commentators played on the jumbotron the rest of the game, talking about how great it was for Jeter and how proud they were, and how much of an honor it is to work with him. It was really cool.

He is the 28th ball player in history to hit 3000. The highest of all-time was Pete Rose with an amazing total of 4,256!! Jeter is only the 2nd player to hit his 3000th on a home run.

Seriously, it was amazing to see. I am keeping my ticket stub!

While cheering this awesome moment, I swing my arm back and cut my finger on the edge of my seat. Yep, story of my life. :)

I Have The Most Random Thoughts

Seriously, I have some of the most random ideas and thoughts. I have no idea where they came from. I know I think they’re funny, and I know that my friends who have known me forever actually have come to expect that sort of stuff from me. Or maybe it’s simply that I have always said whatever popped into my head (I don’t really have a filter…I say what I’m thinking) and they are all used to it. My best friend Emily thinks it’s hilarious. We’ll just be sitting around, enjoying some Florida sunshine, and I’ll look at her out of the blue and say something like “You know what would be fun? Wheelchair races with no brakes. And the referees could be in Radio Flyer wagons.”

And she doesn’t even blink. She and our other 2 best friends, Mike and Chris, will actually take a second and think about it, and respond like it’s perfectly normal. Which, for them, it actually is. Honestly, they are great people to tell my weird ideas to, because they will come up with helpful suggestions and questions. I can actually see Mike in my head right now asking, very seriously, “How would the refs push themselves in the wagons?” Or Chris with a logical reaction of “Would we be pushing ourselves or being pushed?” 

The boyfriend is the same. The randomness doesn’t faze him at all. He seems to get a kick out of it, and I love his rational responses to my random thoughts. “Hey, we should go skip somewhere.” “Hmm, Jyss…not really in a skipping mood right now, but maybe later...or you can skip, and I’ll watch.”

Welcome to my world.

And the randomness never ends! Sometimes it goes away for a time, like hibernation in my mind, and sometimes it bubbles out. Perfect example! Here are my last 2 Facebook status updates, one posted yesterday afternoon and the other this morning. No joke, these are the kinds of things I think about.

Posted on 6/23/2011 at 1:30 pm:

“It's weird to think that someday there will be a whole generation of 80 year old who know all the words to the Fresh Prince rap theme. When im in my 80s, im going to organize a large choir full of other old people and we're going to sing acapella versions of 90s tv show theme songs. WHO’S IN??”

Posted on 6/24/2011 at around 9 am:

“You can tell what she was REALLY saying was "(Are you KIDDING ME?) It's wingardium levi-OH-sa, not levi-oh-SAAAAA. (You redhaired soulless moron. How did you even dress yourself this morning? Geez!) Swish and FLICK."

Inexplicably, I literally could not stop thinking about this last night as I was falling asleep. You're welcome, world.”

Of course, that last one references Harry Potter. Another weird thought I am having right now also involves Harry Potter. Specifically, Hermione. I literally just thought to myself: “Even though I don’t believe in Jesus, the water-into-wine trick is pretty sweet. I wish I could do water-into-champagne. I wonder if Jesus could choose. Hmm…I bet wizards could do it. Even if HP didn’t know how, I betcha Hermione could figure it out. She’s a smart one, always reading. Man, I love to read.”

I am not making that up, that is exactly how I thought of it. I tend to write the same way I’d think or speak something.

Oh yeah, and like 10 friends all commented on my old-people-acapella-choir idea. The comments ranged from “I AM SO IN!” to “Only you would think of this…”

I love my friends. I am a lucky duck.

An Ode To Sleep (written at 8am)

Oh, Sleep.

How I love the way your gentle

Hands guide me to unconsciousness.

You never strike like lightning

BOOM! ASLEEP!

But tenderly waft me towards the

Other side of waking.

Sometimes you provide me

With incredibly detailed

Live-action dreams,

Others, a simple blank

Screen to stare at in darkness.

Sometimes you evade me,

And that makes me super-mad.

And those times, I always vow revenge

On your stupid face for not

Allowing me the pleasure of

Sleeping. And leaving me

Tired in the morning for work.

Then I drink some coffee, and

Longingly recall being

Wrapped like a burrito,

Comfy in bed, near to you.

Oh, Sleep!

I love you in so many ways!

At different times of day (and night).

It feels like only a moment

Between closing my eyes and

Hearing my dumb buzzing alarm,

Telling me to get up. I am

Happy my alarm clock is

Shatterproof.

I love you much more than it, times 20 billion.

I will see you again, tonight,

Sleep, and embrace you

Like a long-lost friend.

And if you try to stay away from me,

I will facebook-stalk you and hunt

You down and then you will be mine again.

Because that's just how much you mean to me.

I love you so much, Sleep.

:)

The Biggest Differences Between NYC and Suburbia (in list form)

-Laundry is harder. It requires traveling. And quarters. Quarters are round, shiny things that are like money, but harder to find and collect. Unless you DO NOT want change, in which case, they procreate like bunnies when you aren’t looking.

-You grocery shop more. You only buy what you can carry home for a few blocks. Even minimal groceries become annoyingly heavy in a few blocks. I buy a lot of cheese. I try not to buy heavy things. Like milk. Screw you, heavy liquids!

-Some stores and shops only accept cash. This was a new and scary concept for me. I rarely carry cash, so I stand there like an idiot, waving around a debit card like “Pretty please? Let me use my magical unicorn money-card? I promise I’ll be good. I just NEED SOCKSSSS!”

-Lots better food options. Want cheap but delicious thin crust pizza? There are 5 different places within 3 blocks of my apartment. Multiply that by 3 for deli sandwiches, NOT including Subway or fast food. Never want to eat at a chain restaurant again? Easy. This isn’t even including all those famous expensive fine-dining restaurants I’ve never been to.

-You don’t need a car here. That means I no longer pay car insurance, car payments, gas, my annual speeding ticket (lead-foot over here), oil changes and maintenance costs, AAA membership fees, or for car washes. No one asks me to help them move, pick them up from the airport, or drive their cousin’s mom’s boyfriend’s best friend back from jail. But, I do miss going 90 on the highway, radio up, windows down, with the wind blowing on a nice sunny day.

-On the flip side, there is public transportation. It’s got its good and bad qualities. During the day, there are trains every few minutes that go everywhere in the city. It’s cheap, it’s easy, it’s (mostly) clean. After midnight, the trains are fewer and more far between, but they’re still there. On the downside, if it’s snowing or raining, some of them are delayed or stop altogether. If someone is sick, they can be delayed or stop altogether. You are at the whim of the conductor and train schedules, and have no say over what time you actually get somewhere. I kind of like that. “I wasn’t late because I changed my shirt 17 times or stopped for a sandwich on the way, the TRAIN was delayed.” Perfect excuse. Every time. EVERYONE here knows how the trains are. EVERYONE has been delayed because some idiot didn’t take off his jacket and passed out momentarily from the heat. It happens, we accept the bad with the good. And the trains are super convenient.

I guess it’s kind of a toss up. There are conveniences you can’t deny, in both situations. There are a lot more neighborhood stores and restaurants in NYC because you are most likely walking everywhere. You get more room to spread out and more greenery and parks in suburbia. I’ve lived in both, and I’ve loved both. It just depends on what you want and where you want to be, I suppose. Right now, I am City Girl. :)

As I have a chat with myself this morning.

This is my first blog. I had a whiney, angst-y, teen-riddled LiveJournal in high school that I haven't touched for years. So, I suppose this is my second blog, but the first one as an adult. Thank goodness for less angst, and less teenage drama!

My name is Jyssica. It's pronounced like the normal "jessica," and no, I do not spell it like that to be different, that's actually how it is spelled. I love it. I love that it's different and yet the same. It is unique and interesting and a bit strange, and I find it is a good reflection of who I am.

I find myself suddenly an adult. I'm not altogether sure how it happened. Maybe when I turned 25 last week? When I moved to NYC alone a year ago? When I got my first job out of college? No, certainly not then! No matter how it happened, I find it has. I'm self-sufficient, I'm living in a city far from my family, I have a life, I am in love. Weird!

I talk to myself. I have full conversations with myself in my head and out loud. I debate reasons for doing something, or argue about the logic of things, or talk myself into doing something I didn't feel like doing but knew that I "should" do (and the negative side of being an adult shines through...), and I reason things out for myself.

And sometimes, just to mess with people, I'll pretend to have an arguement with another personality. Try it, it is really, really fun and is 100% effective, if you're trying to get people to either leave you alone, or think you're weird.

I have a great, big, loving, supportive family, the best friends in the world, a guy who wants me just the way I am, and I am living in the best city in the world. I love my life. How could I not? That's not to say there aren't bumps in the road...