Varying Levels of Facebook Friendships

Most of us have several hundred (or more) Facebook friends. In my case, I am only friends on Facebook with people I have met in real life. Now, I may have met them 10 years ago (Yes, I got a FB account when it was starting out and only for college students! Back in 2004...whoa.), but I did meet them!

I have various people from all levels of schooling, book clubs, family, random encounters at parties, work people, and more. I use FB mostly for staying in touch with my friends and family, especially over long distances. I don't generally post a lot of controversial or overly personal stuff, and a lot of it ends up being pictures of penguins, my cat, and random things I think about. Much like this blog!

I know there are some people who LIVE for the Facebook likes, and maybe they equate "likes" with attention, I don't know. I just enjoy seeing my friends and family and keeping up with their lives. And mostly, posting random thoughts. Today's random thought inspired this post!

But of course there are some people I barely remember from 10 years ago. And that has me thinking about the different levels of Facebook friends.

Levels of FB birthday Comments:
-Level 5 (HIghest): Personal comment with actual memories and well wishes, includes tagging and a picture. (Translation: we are actually friends in real life)
-Level 4: Happy birthday! Hope you have an awesome day! (I like you a lot, I genuinely hope you have a good day)
-Level 3: Happy birthday! (you are good enough for the shift key)
-Level 2: happy birthday! (not even capitalized! scandalous!)
-Level 1: hbd (I am about 50% sure we have met, and I am not willing to type out 13 letters and a special character)
-Level 0: I unfriend you on your birthday because I cannot remember who you are.

Levels of Baby Picture Reactions:
-Your parents: Like and comment on every single picture.
-Your best friend(s): Like every baby picture, occasional comment on especially cute or funny one. Usually a sarcastic comment likening your baby to an old man/woman, a weird animal, or a derpy animal. These are the best comments. 
-Friends: Likes most pictures.
-That one weird person you knew in high school: Posts overly personal comments on every picture.
-Mommyjackers: Comments on every post/picture of your kid with comments about their own kid. 
[Thank you STFUParentsblog.com for the terms "mommyjacking" and "documom"!!! Hilarious site, check it out.]

Level of Parents on FB:
-Documom: Posts multiple pictures and videos per day.
-Regular parent: Posts some pictures, usually with an entertaining caption, and generally always posts the important milestones.
-Parent-you-forgot-was-a-parent: Posted pictures after birth and has since posted no pictures of the baby. 
-Grandparents: Reposts memes and quotes. 

What else? Who do you notice on Facebook? The Product Pusher? The Mom Friend? That Girl Who Got Engaged? The Guy Who Goes To Crossfit? Car Guy?

Parody of a Backstreet Boys Song!

I LOVE to sing in the shower. It is one of my all time favorite things to do. Shower acoustics are awesome, and no one yells at you when you're singing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" or "Only The Good Die Young" while you're soaping up, even when it's loud.

I have an overwhelming urge to make a music video with this song, basically me fully dressed in the shower or in the rain, with dramatic hand gestures and an angsty face...think 90's Justin Timberlake and boy band music videos, that is what I want. (Side note: I know JT was in N*SYNC. I promise, I know. He was just super angsty and great.)

So much angst in the late 90's and early 2000's. Also, hair bleach.

Without further ado, here are the full lyrics. It matches the syllables and tune to the Backstreet Boys "I Want It That Way."

"You Need To Shower”

Yeah

I love to shower

Soaping and cleaning.

My nose crinkles upward

When you don’t shower.

And your smell permeates

Can reach out to yards away.

So I say

Why don’t you shower?

Tell me why

You smell like skunk butt.

Tell me why

You refuse to soap up

Tell me how

You think you’ll ever shtup?

Go take a shower!

I love to shower.

Singing in hot water.

I don’t understand your

Aversion to cleanliness.

Tell me why

You smell like skunk butt.

Tell me why

You refuse to soap up

Tell me how

You think you’ll ever shtup?

Go take a shower!

Now I can scent that you’re on your way

To try to sit on my couch.

No matter the distance

I smell you coming

And something has got to chaaaaaange!

You need to shower.

Right now, my friend.

My nose crinkles upward

When you don’t shower.

Don’t want to smell your way.

You smell like skunk butt.

Why refuse to soap up?

You won’t get to schtup.

Just take a shower!

Tell me why

You smell like skunk butt.

Tell me why

You refuse to soap up

Tell me how

You think you’ll ever shtup?

Go take a shower!

Tell me why

You smell like skunk butt.

Tell me why

You refuse to soap up

Tell me how

You think you’ll ever shtup?

Go take a shower!

‘Cause you need to shower.