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Thursday, July 31, 2014

One for Waffles and Waffles for All!

I love waffles. I would eat waffles at any time, it does not need to be breakfast or brunch. I have a waffemaker, which my awesome parents got me for hanukkah, and ive made waffle-shaped cookies in it, quesadillas, waffles, and a lot more. Waffles are awesome and even have tiny cups to hold the delicious syrup.

I could write Shakespearean sonnets on waffles.

If I were to run for president, I think one of the issues I’d address would be literacy, since reading is so important to me, and I have a close personal relationship with my Kindle. Nothing can come between my Kindle and I. We are together, and we don’t care who knows it. Don’t ask, don’t tell? I don’t think so. Kindle and I shout our love from the rooftops. I talk about how great my Kindle is to strangers on the train all the time. I’m personally responsible for at least 7 people purchasing a Kindle. Amazon should pay me to be their spokesperson. Amazon? I’m waiting! It’s quite easy to contact me!

Another issue would be waffles. Clearly, the world is not eating enough of them. First of all, it’s hard to be sad while eating a waffle. Secondly, they are inherently better than pancakes, what with their tiny cups to hold the syrup in place and soak in correctly, and thirdly, if you don’t like waffles, then you are so wrong that you don’t know how to be right and I can’t be your friend anymore. That’s it. That is the line in the sand of our friendship.
Another would be penguins, but just because I love them.

And dinosaurs. Recently, a dinosaur bone was found in Montana with soft tissue still in it! Blood vessels and more. HELLO? We are missing an incredible opportunity for dinosaur cloning. What? We can clone sheep and kids (think twins and other multiples. The government is clearly hiding something here.), but we haven’t attempted a 68 million year old dinosaur cloning experiment? This is a thing that we should do. Like, yesterday.

If possible, I’d like to order mine in miniature. I’d walk it around with one of those super-useful child-leashes, and call it something fun like “Mr. Snuggles” or “Killerface the Third” (First and Second would have probably accidentally challenged some large toddlers or something and lost).

Point being, I like waffles and wafflemakers and all of the wonderful things that you can do with them. The world should really embrace waffles more than they already do.

AND TINY DINOSAUR T-REX CLONES AS PETS. I think we should all ponder that for awhile and then get back together to discuss.

But until then, enjoy these waffled foods THAT ARE NOT WAFFLES.
BROWNIES made in a waffle iron!

HASHBROWNS made in a waffle iron!!

I've made cookies in a waffle iron. THEY WERE AMAZING. They looked like waffles and tasted like amazing chocolate chip cookies and my mind was then completely blown. It was awesome. You should really do this. I cannot stress enough how delightful and wondrous this was. Really, I should look up a thesaurus and put like 47 more positive adjectives describing waffle-cookies.