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Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Fiance's Bedtime Roulette

I generally go to bed before Fiance does. I try as hard as possible to go to sleep, I swear! Anyway, I drew a little comic about the 5 potential scenarios of what Fiance will encounter when he goes to bed.
This seriously entertained me so much!

The struggle is real.

When I sleep on my back, I snore like a train is hitting you in the face.

Not my fault!

Sleeping starfish. A signature move.

Look who's still awake! Let's chat for awhile!

P.S. I generally end up outside the covers. I didn't just draw myself coverless for no reason!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Life Lessons at Almost 30

The older I get, the more I come to understand that when it comes to friends and family, it's quality that matters, not quantity.
And also that just because someone is family, doesn't mean they always have your best interest in mind. Friends are the family we choose. And I happen to be incredibly lucky that my family is also amazing.

The older I get, the more I have learned to enjoy being alone.

The more I've learned what love is, and that love multiplies, and doesn't diminish any amount given when you love more people.

The more I've learned that real friends are true and real no matter the time and distance.

The older I get, the more I learn not to live with regrets. Learn from the mistakes and the disappointments, and move forward a better person. Living in regrets is wasteful to your current life and happiness.

The older I get, the more I appreciate what I have.
I can't count how many times I've turned to Fiance and said "We are so lucky, we have such a great life and we have each other. Look how lucky we are!" And I know it sounds trite, but it's so true. We are both hard workers with great work ethic, we are invested in our careers. We both got a college education (just finished paying off my student loans!!!!!!), and we are (and have long been) fully self-supporting. We have a great life, one we've worked for, and we make sure to take some time and appreciate how far we've come and how lucky and happy we are.

The older I get, the better I understand that bad things happen to good people.
You can be the best person, the most pious, the most giving, the funniest, or the smartest, or the biggest donator of time and money, and inevitably bad things will happen anyway. You cannot control what happens to you, what you CAN control is how you react to it and move forward. You could resent life and be bitter about the sucky things, or you can accept them and figure out how to pick up, move on, and continue to live.

The more I fully understand the phrase "life isn't fair."

The more I appreciate my parents.
I was not spoiled, I earned my allowance in blood, sweat, and chores. I got a job at 16 when the allowance stopped. I was held accountable for everything: my grades, the people I hung out with, my job, my chores, and my attitude. Seeing people my age as parents and seeing sometimes the way they raise their special snowflake, I more fully understand how lucky I was to be taught the value of money, the value of a good education, the goodness that comes with working to EARN the thing and not be given the thing.
My parents were not my friends, they were my parents. Thanks, parents.

The older I get, the more I love staying home on Friday night.

The more I understand that I will never learn patience. At this point, I don't think that's a virtue I've been given.

The older I get, the more I enjoy getting older and going on new adventures.

The older I get, the more I appreciate my personal confidence and recognize what confidence in myself has done for me in so many different aspects of my life.

The more I want to do the things I always wanted. I want to write a book, I want to sing more, I want to learn a new language. And as an adult...I can choose to do any of those things.

The older I get, the more crotchety I get. Ugh, neighbors (in an apartment building). 'Nuff said.

I wonder what I'll learn next?

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Like Ash Ketchum to pokemon, I choose you.

Life is a series of choices. Everything I am, everything I do, everywhere I go, it's all the result of choices I'm making now or ones I've made in the past.

I'm 29 years old, and I don't exactly know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't see this as a bad thing at all. It drives me crazy when I see people in their 20s and 30s who claim they are "old" or that their best times are behind them.

How is that possible? You're only (statistically) a third of the way through life, but you're practically giving up! The next 60 years aren't looking superfun...

I love getting older, and I love new experiences. Even the things that scare me a little (skiing), I still want to try. I'm not decrepit and I have insurance, so if worse comes to worse, broken bones heal. I just want to experience life!

I want to travel more, see everything, learn a new language, jump out of a plane again. I want to share those experiences with the person I've chosen to spend my life with. I want to push him out of a plane and out of his comfort zone. I want him to push me off a cliff and down a mountain.

Relationships are more than comfort and ease. I love Fiance, very much. I also love my family and my friends and my life. I believe that good relationships are ones that push you. I want to be pushed, pulled, and contorted into new experiences, trying new foods, and doing stuff that scares me.

If it doesn't scare you a little bit, it's not worth doing. I had never been in love and wasn't really looking for it. I went on that date to have fun and meet a cool new person in my newly adopted home of Brooklyn. 5 years later, I'm marrying that guy.

Since we met, we have pushed each other. I pushed him into new social situations, into traveling the world, and out of the house on the weekends. He's pushed me into new hobbies, into a new and exciting life plan, into love, and into learning to love being alone sometimes.

I learn things from him. We learn from each other. We navigated moving in together, starting a home search, being our own family, and more. We read each others favorite authors, we have deep discussions about Batman vs Superman and what the best superpower would be (it's flying, duh. Invisibility is dumb.). We read the book and then go see the movie and then go over the differences. We've gotten more into politics and investing together. We've spent the last 5 years falling in love, loving life, and growing up together.

Why am I marrying him, when I am a little bit scared of marriage? Because I am a better person after being with him than I was before. Because he pushes me, teaches me, and learns from me. Because I would rather be arguing with him over something stupid than being in a waveless relationship with anyone else. Because at some point over the last 5 years, he has become my family, and I his. We are a team, and it's us against the world.

As trite as that may sound, that's how I know it's real, how I know I am fully in love.

Love is scary and confusing. I had never been in love with someone before, though I had loved many. I love my family and friends, I love my cat, and I feel that I have a deep capacity for love that only grows with each new person added to it.

I didn't know if I loved him. I didn't know how to tell if you're IN LOVE with someone. I learned that it's the little things. I wanted to stay in with him more than go out with other people. I would see or hear something and I'd think "I have got to tell him this!" I would think of a pun and have the need to tell him immediately, and watch him sigh and roll his eyes. He was the person I wanted to say good morning to. The ONLY person I could look at before having coffee.

I'm not afraid of marrying him at all. It's funny how some of the biggest fears in life are the things that are the most exciting.