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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Man, We Had Some Great Stuff In The 90s.

SQUEEEEEEE! Okay, sorry to open on a dramatic high-pitched girly screamy note, but I’ve just finished reading articles confirming that Boy Meets World is coming back to TV! They’re doing a sequel/spinoff called Girl Meets World, which centers around Cory and Topanga’s 13-year-old daughter, Riley.

This news makes my little 90s-kid heart squeal with joy, and also immediately has me wondering if Shawn Hunter will be around.
Look how wholesome and adorable they are!
I loved Boy Meets World as a kid, as well as Clarissa Explains It All, Step by Step, Full House, and anything else they showed during TGIF. You guys remember TGIF? Every Friday night, from 8 to 10, my family and I would hang out together and watch. It was awesome! Even my 7-years-older big brother watched it with us most weeks. And that’s saying something!

I don’t know if this show is going to be good. For all I know, it could go the way of the college years of the original BMW, wherein Shawn was super-broody and emo, Cory and Eric both got a great deal dumber, and Topanga got more typically girly. I still watched it. Heck, I even watched Saved By The Bell, The College Years! And that was pretty terrible. And we all (maybe) remember that Disney ruined Doug, when it switched networks. And yes, kids, the network that brought Hannah Montana into our lives is doing the new Boy Meets World show, too.

They should bring back Zack and Kelly, too! Z&K’s kid could go to school with C&T’s kid, and we could do a 15 year later spinoff-mashup thing. Man, I am on FIRE. We should all be writing these blasts of brilliance down.

Hmm, what else can I wax nostalgic on from the 1990’s? Well, for one thing, the cartoons were better. Come on, Recess, Ren & Stimpy, Doug, and Rugrats? Heck yes. We even had the original Beavis and Butthead. And there is no shortage in funtimes when calling someone a butthead. I cannot remember the movie to save my life, but there was a line where a girl calls a guy butthead, and the guy says “Did you just call me a butthead? No one has called me that since the 7th grade!” And the girl retorts, “Maybe to your face.” Ahhh, funny.

Recess was a personal favorite. TJ was a great group leader and best friend, and King Bob was ridiculous. Playground shenanigans!

You know what is absolutely, positively, ludicrous and grossly unfair? They don’t make cool light-up sneakers for adults. What the hell, shoe people? You don’t think adults want to be able to light up our path in the dark, have cool sparkly light up colors under our feet, or like LA Gear anymore? What? I WANT ALL OF THOSE THINGS. They can double as a tiny multi-colored flashlight if my power goes out, they are effective lit up missiles for chucking at people in the semi-to-full darkness, and I want them right this second!
Man, I was so cool, rockin' these with my Mudd jeans.
LA Gear, you are missing a huge opportunity here. The only reason little kids have light up sneakers is because their awesome parents buy them for them. And you would have more demographics! You’d have the little kids’ parents, the young-adult-to-late-20s nostalgic group who still love light up shoes, and then you’d ALSO have the crazies. There are adult women who try to dress like their short child all the time, in matching outfits, poofy hair, and shoes. Then you’d have 2 pairs sold at once. And that kind of crazy probably wouldn’t stop at just one pair! Especially if instead of one type of multi-colored lights, you have shoes with different color lights. One pair that only lights up blue, one pair only pink, one only red, and so on. I’d like to go ahead and reserve my free pair of black high-top size 9’s in light-up blue and purple, please. I assume you’ll at LEAST give me one free pair, seeing as how I am doing all the work here, designing and coming up with color schemes and stuff.

Whew, all that marketing and creative planning right there makes a girl tired! Maybe I should relax with a Surge soda and a bowl of Rice Crispy Treats cereal. Which I still miss, by the way. I loved that sugary crunchy cereal.

Boyfriend makes fun of me because I like cereal so much. Some nights, after work and the gym, I go home, relax with a string cheese, and then eat a bowl of cereal for dinner. He thinks it’s silly, but it’s actually the perfect meal. Here’s why: one bowl, one spoon, little to no clean up involved, end result is tummy full of delicious frosted mini wheats. AND you’re full when you’re done. I am a big fan of frosted mini wheats and honey nut Chex. Ugh, now I want a bowl of cereal, but I can’t have one because I am not at home. UBER-POUT.

I could go on for awhile about the things I am (probably needlessly) nostalgic about: Oregon Trail, Gushers, Super Mario Bros 3 (I still have and play that), chat rooms, Hocus Pocus, old-school kids shows like Wild n’ Crazy Kids, GUTS (I would’ve kicked butt on that!!), Legends of The Hidden Temple (those stupid Silver Snakes.), and more. But one thing I DO NOT MISS? I unrepentantly, unequivocally do not miss 90’s internet.
Oh, look! The one time it wasn't dysentery!
Remember that harsh, screeching fax machine sound it made when attempting to connect? And if your mom got a phone call, you were screwed out of internet usage for the rest of the day! Oh, AOL. I can miss you a little bit. I know you still exist, but no one uses you, and I have fond memories of AIM.

Hearing a fax machine nowadays always makes me cringe slightly. In addition to wondering why they even still exist. But mostly, cringe with the memory of a thousand unwatched videos that are still buffering back in the 90s.

I wonder if it’s like this for every generation. If 80s kids miss cone-bra young Madonna, especially when they see the plastic-filled, weird-armed, leotard wearing old Madonna in it’s place. Maybe 60s kids miss the free love carefree-ness that came along with not knowing about AIDS or the morning-after pill and wax poetic about the urine-and-drug-filled Woodstock. Come on, I know it was epic and legendary, but I’ve been to music fests, too. And while they are legendary and superfun and filled with rockin' good music, they are also filled with some bad-smelling people who are completely wasted and acting like idiots, a lot of “special” cigarettes, and the always hovering smell of the porta-potties. Maybe 50s kids miss the good values and morality that we see in Leave It To Beaver, before they fully understood gender discrimination and the epic divorce rates to come.

In the end, we feel nostalgic about anything we loved in the past. After all, we loved it once, and when we remember it, we tend to wipe off the bad stuff and dirt and shine it up into something more cool, more beautiful than maybe it really was. It’s like when you break up with someone, and a few years later, you can look back and remember how good it was, glossing over the vase she threw at your face and the screaming matches that inevitably regressed into “Well, I remember that one time 3 years ago when you said that Burger King cashier was hot and so you can’t even be mad at me for cheating (or insulting you in front of your parents/hitting on a bartender/spending all your savings on shoes)!” 
Mind blown.
So, we look back, we smile, we move on to all the crappy stuff that this generation has, like terrible music, bad taste in pants, crappy role models...oh, wait. Yeah, every generation thinks the next one is worse than them. Take that, old people. 
Damn kids!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Part-Time Superheroes

I am part Dracula, in that I am sensitive to sunlight and crosses. I am part werewolf, like Lupin, in that once a month I am a completely different person. I am partially a superhero, in that I can time travel, but only to the present. I can also fly, but only for a few seconds at a time. 

That was my random Facebook status yesterday. I'm not sure what made me think of it, only that it was suddenly in my head.

However, it's a nice little segue into telling you about a very interesting train of thought I recently had. I spent a good amount of time pondering this. And I can tell you, there may be a ton more productive ways to waste half an hour, but no one can tell me that this isn’t an interesting idea! Also, I like pondering. And meandering. And thinkin’ ‘bout stuff. But trust me, you are not pondering what I’m pondering, Pinky.

What if there were seasonal, or part-time superpowers? Like, what if there were regular people, who exhibited superpowers, but at limited times. Perhaps in specific conditions (i.e. Bruce Banner becomes Hulk only when he is angry), or at certain times or seasons?

Think of it this way. It wouldn’t be a ‘curse’ or deformity, like Princess Fiona turning into an ogre every nightfall in Shrek. No, more like a regular girl who has a normal full-time job, but happens to have superstrength every day from noon to 5 pm.

A guy who can fly, but only at night.

Nothing like the stereotypical myths of werewolves and vampires, who can do certain things at certain times (vamps traditionally can’t be in the sun, and werewolves of course, change at the full moon). This is more like everyday people, who can fight bad guys and be heroes and have supernatural powers, but there are limitations.

Here is the conundrum:
Would a person come to resent their power because of it’s limitations, or would they utilize what they had to save as many people as possible? How did the person figure out that they had this power, and of it’s restrictions?

It could be any superpower at all!

--Superstrength-from 12-5pm daily.
--Flying-but only at night.
--X-ray vision-but it only works on inanimate objects.
--Invisibility-only in the dark (not just nighttime, any darkness).
--Laser vision-only in the winter.
--Stopping time-but only during AM hours.
--Shape shifting-but only into adorable, and not menacing or particularly deadly animals. (“You are one adorable kitty--OH GOD, KITTY WHY?! YOU BIT OFF MY WHOLE FINGER!”)
--Teleportation-but only to specific places.
--The power to create and throw fireballs-but only during the day, when you can use the sun’s energy to make the fireballs. You wouldn’t be able to make and store the fireballs. You’d create one and immediately throw it.

It opens up a world of possibilities. The ultimate “part-time hero.”

Think of the stories and comics this could spawn. The genre would open up. Instead of having an obviously recognizable Clark Kent who simply removes his glasses, puts his underwear on the outside, and adds a death-cape, you have an everyman. The guy who works in the office next to you; a college girl who studies medicine and uses her time-stopping ability to study in the mornings, in addition to using it in whatever way she catches criminals in her off time; the fireman who can be invisible at night to try to catch arsonists.
I loved Edna in The Incredibles!
I imagine a relatable character, who learns of the power they possess, and basically by trial and error, learns of the restrictions it has. I could also see this as being terrible. The guy learns he can fly, but doesn’t yet know that he can only fly at night, and either jumps off a building during the day, assuming he’ll fly out, or maybe is still flying from his night missions when the sun comes up. 

So, to illustrate this point, I actually drew a 3-panel comic that I decided to call "Suddenly Power." I would apologize for my lack of drawing ability, except I think they came out pretty awesome! I couldn't take one picture where all 3 panels were legible, so I ended up with 3, not-quite-lined up pictures. Oops! Oh well, enjoy my semi-artistic renderings.
I drew this comic.
BAM! Flying.
Not a completely terrible sunrise drawing!
Click on any of them for a larger view.

How would the people deal with their powers? Would everyone know about the sometimes-superpowered? Or is it still a secret identity? Does EVERYONE have some type of limited power, or is it just a few, and why? Is it from birth that the powers are evident, and they can learn over time, or do they just suddenly appear around puberty or adulthood or some arbitrary number, like 25? 

To be fair, at 25, the only exciting things are that you can now rent a car, and your car insurance premiums go down. Not exactly party city up in 25. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to wait until I was 25, and possibly already settled in a career, before I got struck by cool-as-heck powers. I might not have as much time to devote to honing or controlling my powers, at that point. At 13, I’d still have some non-working years to figure it all out.

Speaking of superheroes, I was Quailman for Halloween, from the 90’s cartoon Doug. Anyone in their 20s should either know exactly what I am talking about, or is the worst 90’s kid ever.
I am Quailman! Fear my Quail-Eye, criminals of NY!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Life Lessons. Or, Things They Don’t Teach You In College.

 This is going to be hard to believe, but I didn't pop out of the womb this smart. I know, I know, you're saying "What?! How can this BE? Everything I have believed makes no sense anymore! Why, oh WHY ME?" But there it is. I have stumbled, fallen, picked myself up again, and learned from it more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. Therefore, the actual number may not exist. 

Luckily for you, dear, sweet, innocent readers, I am sharing with you these 12 important life lessons. One thing I will mention is that no one flippin' told me this stuff early enough. Or maybe they did and I wasn't ready to listen. If it was my parents saying it, then I definitely didn't listen! Either way, here are 12 things that I have learned about life, the hard way. Not in books, not in school, and definitely not from TV. Especially the TV shows I watch! They are all true, and I feel like we should all learn a little something.

1. You’re never going to be 100% happy about everything, all of the time.
There are parts of every job that you won’t like. Even if you get the exact job you went to school for, or dreamed of since you were 7, there will be parts of it you just won’t enjoy. If you’re a pop star, the constant travel and PR might get on your nerves; if you own your own business, you might hate the nightly paperwork and accounting; if you are a computer tech, you may dislike certain client questions; you may simply hate the long hours that you hadn’t realized you’d be working. It is a part of life. You won’t like everything all the time, just like you won’t like or be liked by everyone all the time. As long as you like MOST of your job, you are pretty ahead of the curve. 

2. You will not be liked by everyone.
Fact of life, my friend. You don’t like every single person you come in contact with, client or not. And they will not always like you. Sometimes it is a simple personality clash and you just don’t mesh well. Sometimes, that other person is a terrible excuse for a human being. There is nothing you can do about it. Being a business person also means realizing that you are not always there to make friends. You are there to do your job to the best of your ability, and then go home and eat bacon-wrapped pizza dogs with your cat. And sometimes, even your cat may not like you. But trust me, there are tons of people--and animals--who will like you. You can’t take it personally. Life is not about making it easy on you, and everyone’s own lives are centered around themselves, not you.

3. As a manager, you are not your employees’ friend.
As a leader in any situation, you want your underlings to like and respect you. I get it, it’s natural. However, you can’t be everyone’s best friend. You just can’t. Your job is to make sure they are doing their job. And if you are gossiping with them, or drinking with them every night, your lemmings will assume that that behavior is okay, and will not work as hard, knowing that you won’t mind if something is late, or sloppy, or they are too hungover to work today.

4. You really do catch more flies with honey.
Ugh, that is such a stupid sounding phrase. But the gist is correct. Being a competent manager or leader, or even being a good customer, depends mostly on you. If you are rude, and mean, and threatening, you will not get as much service and you will make a bad impression, whether it is on a client who will not return with more business in the future, or the cashier at the grocery store who is trying to pay for school. Good rule: Be nice to customer service people. Trust me on this one. They can make things easier or harder for you, and your attitude will decide which one. People will remember your rudeness. Being nice is easier, things tend to get done sooner, and you might actually make a few friends along the way. That is not to say you shouldn’t stand up for yourself is someone is treating you badly.

5. You have to stand up for yourself and/or your company.
Rude, angry customers and clients are fait accompli. You WILL encounter them. Someone might be having a bad day and accidentally take it out on you, someone may be frustrated at the situation and lash out, someone may just be a rude jerk who can’t figure out that not everything goes their way all the time. To a certain extent, this is normal. As a worker, whether you own the company or are the mail-kid, you just have to do your job as best you can, try to appease the client or boss, and try not to take it personally. However, if anyone, a customer or a manager, is mean to you in a personal attack or an inappropriate way, you absolutely have the right to stand up for yourself. Don’t get in someone’s face and scream obscenities. Be firm, explain why the situation is not okay, and stand your ground.
If you are at a store or restaurant and it is a worker being inappropriate, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking to speak to a manager, or getting the phone number of the corporate office. As a person and as a customer, you deserve a modicum of politeness, and you have to assume that you are not the only customer being treated this way, and the company needs to be aware that there is a problem, before they can address it. Stand up for yourself, but do not stoop to the level of the person being nasty to you.

6. Learn to like coffee.
Trust me, you will need it.
7. Everything will not always go your way.
In the real world, especially in a situation where it is your first job, or when you are just low on the totem pole in a company, no one cares who your parents are, what your last name is, how much money you have, or what types of clothes you wear. If you used to stand on that type of stuff in high school and college, and especially if you’ve ever used the oversaturated line, “Do you KNOW who I am?!” I am here to tell you: Nope. They really don’t know or care who you are. You are working now. The only way to prove yourself is to do your job, and do it well. Demanding special status, treatment, more money for the same job, or giving excuses is just not okay, and makes you look like an overindulged toddler. Guess what? That coworker whom you think is stupid and not rich, or who you don’t like for various other personal reasons, may make more money than you or have a better title or job description, but it is because that person will have earned it. And claiming that “It’s just not FAIR.” won’t change anything.

8. Life isn’t fair. Isn’t that great?
Yeah, we have ALL said it at one point or another. Life just isn’t FAIR. And it would be so much easier on me if it was! It’s not FAIR that that other person got the last of the tater tots, I wanted some! It’s not FAIR that guy got a promotion before I did. Well, while sometimes you may be right, and it really isn’t fair, it’s still the way things are sometimes. I’ll let you in on a secret, though. Life isn’t fair for ANYONE, and in a way, that kind of makes it fair for everyone. Nice little nugget of profundity there, huh? Yep.
Most of us learn this at some point in our lives. We finally have that realization that life isn’t just out to get ME, it’s out to get EVERYONE. And somehow, that makes it all a little better. Some people don’t ever get this particular epiphany, and some of them end up criminals. Think about it. It isn’t that far of a jump from “That’s not fair!” to “Well, if Life won’t be fair, I’ll just take what I want.” to “It wasn’t my fault, Judge, that guy wouldn’t just GIVE me the money when I asked nicely!”

9. The criminal justice system isn’t always right.
This one is tough. We grow up respecting and believing that when bad people do bad things, they are punished. Reality intercedes when, as an adult, you come to realize that the system isn’t perfect. There are corrupt cops in the world, sometimes innocent people are wrongly accused, and there are people who get away with crimes. A lot of people do get caught, and some don’t. Sometimes, there are heinous crimes that are hard to prove beyond a reasonable doubt.  Which is what the law requires. This one is a difficult pill for me to swallow, even now. It just isn’t fair! The system is a good one, but not perfect.

10. You can't change people.
You might have the best of intentions, and honestly want to help people, and I totally give you credit for that. But you cannot make someone change, and you just won't be able to. Whether it is something like a health problem, like wanting someone to quit smoking, or eat better, or exercise more, or if it is something larger, like wanting someone to be more ambitious or considerate, or even go back to college. The only time a change can happen is when a person wants to do it, and is ready to do it, for themselves. You can't force someone to do anything, even when you are really only doing it because you care about them. And even if you could, or if you do nag someone into changing that thing about themselves, there is going to be some resentment. If you truly care about someone, you have to be supportive and considerate of them. You can give advice, you can help them if they ask, but you can't, and shouldn't try to, force them to change if they don't want to.

11. There is little point in having regrets.
Here is the thing about regrets: it happened, it’s over, and you can’t change it. Whatever it is in your past that you have regrets about, it’s over. That is why it’s called the past. The best thing you can do is to get up, dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Dwelling on it won’t change anything except making you sad or angry, or hurt. You have to figure out what you learned from the situation, and make changes in yourself if necessary, and move forward. That’s not to say you should forget it, but you have to move past it in order to continue living. This is a very tough thing for most people to do, but it is certainly an important one.

I have bad news for you. Here is the last one on this list:

12. Your parents were right.
This one sucks to admit. Unless you are already a parent yourself, and are therefore now feeling smug and self-righteous and are pointing to this while saying to your kids “neener neener, this say I’m right! So there!”

In that case, maybe not ALL parents are right.

But here’s the thing. Hindsight is 20/20. Your parents have already done all the stupid kid stuff that you want to do. All the misadventures and parties and probably drugs, and underage drinking, and driving where you know you aren’t supposed to. They did it all, and they did it during a time when people didn’t record and youtube every stupid thing they said or did. Your parents were probably better at getting away with it, too, since they didn’t brag about their stupid escapades on a then-nonexistent Facebook, forgetting that Mom is one of your Facebook friends.

Because they have done it all already, and they also understand how dumb teenagers actually are (and they are. As a former teen, I will attest to this fact.), they are trying to protect you and keep you from being an idiot and making bad decisions. As a kid, we think that our parents are oppressing us and not letting us make our own decisions, or be independent, and that they just want to be fun vampires who suck the awesome out of everything we will ever love.

They are RIGHT. My mom is going to be so vindicated when she reads this. They love you, they want you to be adults someday, and not killed drag racing a Honda Civic down Main Street. They also would prefer you to not be jailed, maimed, or have any other lifelong consequences of your idiotic 16-year-old decisions.

That one may have been the toughest life lesson that I ever had to learn. Dammit, Mom!
My mom and I. She's pretty awesome, when she isn't overly excited about being right when I was younger.
One last life lesson I have learned and wish to share with you:
Don’t sit next to the hobo on the train. That smell doesn’t dissipate.

I know this was a long one, so in order to leave you with something to make you smile. As if that picture of my adorable mom and I didn't do enough, here:
Oh, Paul Rudd. Adore.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Hurricane Sandy Reaffirms My Belief That Not Working Is Boring. And An Ode To Leftover Halloween Candy.

I always kind of thought about retirement as forever into the future and even further away. I figured I’ll be old, and boring, and tired of working, and possibly rich. I would laze around all day, going to the beach or wandering in woods somewhere, and travel a lot, and maybe go fishing.

Now, I’m thinking I might have to work forever! I have 2 points of reference for this:
1. I was unemployed for a time, after moving to NYC and before I found my current job. I generally spent every day, all day, in the local public library, using their internet to job search, taking up space, and reading. The total length of unemployment: 5 weeks.
2. I just spent the last 9 days at home. Doing NOTHING.

Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, that jerkface storm that ripped through the northeast, NYC lost all transportation options, had a bunch of flooding and fires and people without power and stuck AT HOME. For a week.

At first, I was like “YEAH. BRING IT, SANDY!” As I am a native Floridian, I have slept through many a hurricane. I went out and got back up batteries for the flashlights and made sure we had food in the house, and filled a couple pitchers with water. I was as prepared as I was going to get.

Unfortunately, NY is nothing like the flat lands of Florida. A LOT of NYC is right on the water, and have you ever noticed all these tall buildings we have everywhere? The winds between those skyscrapers have a canyon effect, whipping around and through the spaces in-between**. So, while wind whistled at my windows and howled down the lanes all around my beloved Brooklyn, I sat inside. In sweatpants.

Because, come on, if I am at home, that is a no-pants zone. Or at least, no work-pants. Shorts, gym shorts, sleep shorts and sweatpants are all acceptable on my couch.

But for the first couple of days, the storm was coming and then it was here, so you’re truly just stuck inside. After that, I was still stuck at home, but at least Boyfriend and I could go wandering and out to lunch just to get out of the house. Around Thursday, my gym opened back up, and I went to the gym each day, as another way of getting out of the house for a bit.

Do you know what there is to do all day long, when you’re sitting at home and have nowhere to be? Watch Judge Judy and Food Network. THAT’S IT. There isn’t anything that good on tv, and you can only stare at it for so long, before you start rolling around on the couch, flailing your arms about, and complaining to the other person trapped in the house with you, about how bored you are. OH, AND EAT LEFTOVER HALLOWEEN CANDY.

Trust me, that other person is not that sympathetic after Day 1. He would do that exasperated sigh-eye roll thing, wherein you know he’s really thinking “OMG. You are 26 years old. Entertain yourself and stop poking me in the sides, I am trying to play this game!”

Oh...wait. He didn’t think it, he just said it out loud to my FACE. :)

Leftover halloween candy is the most evil thing in the world. There it is, everytime you walk in the kitchen, taunting you from it’s bowl. “Eat me!” It says, “I am sooo delicious! You bought all your favorite kinds!” Well, of course I did. I didn’t want to have crappy candy sitting in my kitchen, leftover after the children had come and gone.

Except wait...because of the storm, NO ONE came and trick or treated! I had a giant bowl full of all of mine and BF’s favorite candies, just SITTING THERE, while I am just sitting around the house in flannel sleep shorts, bored. And do you know what happens when you’re bored? YOU MUNCH ON EVERYTHING.

In spite of the boredom and the childish taunting from brightly wrapped candies, BF and I were very lucky**. We didn’t have any damage and didn’t even lose power. In fact, most of our friends lost power, and they came over daily to bask in the glow of our 40-watts and to soak up some of our wondrous power. Yes, yes, we know we are powerful. Also, they helped us eat some of that damn candy. Good thing I don’t have kids. I’d be sifting through their loot like “Oh. THIS one looks dangerous, better hold onto that KitKat. Here, kid. You can have the tootsie rolls.”

I’m pretty sure my mom used to steal my halloween candy when I was a kid. Just sayin’, sometimes the inventory was off.

Back to the point. Sitting at home, not working and with nothing productive to do, is supercalafragalistically boring and being back at work is totally great. Yay, I am a productive, contributing member of society once again! Here's a poem.

An Ode To Leftover Halloween Candy:

There you sit,
Wrapped so brightly.
Taunting me with your sugaryness
And pulling me in tightly.

I try to resist
Your sugary high
But you sit, patiently waiting
Every time I walk by.

I tell myself,
“Just one or two!”
I think,
How bad can just one be for you?

Halfway through the bowl,
I wonder where it all went.
And at the audacity of the sugar
To change the way my mind bent.

Instead of a fruit
Or some healthier snack,
I now have Twizzlers and Twix
On full-out attack.

Your wrappers glint
Like sunlight off dew,
And the more I resist,
The more I'm drawn to you.

Teeming with candy,
Your light, you bestow.
Where, oh where,
The heck did it all go?

**For those who were less fortunate than I, and to help my friends and neighbors here in NY, here is the information for donating to the clean up efforts and the victims of Hurricane Sandy:

Disney and ABC have teamed up with the American Red Cross for a “Day of Giving” to raise money for hurricane relief efforts. From “Good Morning America” to “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC shows will give viewers the chance to help those devastated by the storm by making a contribution to the American Red Cross. Here’s how you can participate:
  • TEXT: Text ABC to 90999 to give a $10 donation to the Red Cross.

  • BY PHONE:  Call 1-800-HELP-NOW. This number will bypass all the other menu options and direct your call to Hurricane Sandy relief.
Hurricane Sandy has affected millions along the East Coast, causing massive devastation and destruction and in its wake. Recovery efforts are underway as emergency crews scramble to get supplies to the hardest-hit communities, but many estimate that the relief effort may be the most expensive in U.S. history.

You can also donate clothes and kid’s things to Red Cross, FEMA, Goodwill and Salvation Army, and many churches and synagogues around NYC.