I Live Tweeted a Lady Preacher on the Train This Morning

So of course I just wrote a post about the dynamics of trains in NYC on Wednesday of this week. And this morning, I was auditorily assaulted by the preaching of an incredibly dedicated and oblivious train preacher. She started out at a soft-ish volume. It got increasingly louder. Here is what I tweeted/facebooked (direct copy/paste, edited for spelling/grammar) during my 35 minute morning commute.

7:38 am: 

Lady preacher on the train right now. She's claiming that jesus gave the world language. Maybe she is ignoring the written records prior to the bible....or even the old testament itself?

Know what I don't need at 730 am? More jesus.

7:41 am:

She’s also apparently a genealogist. Telling the masses that John the Baptist and Jesus are first cousins and John is 6 months older. Wonder if they competed like normal cousins? "My following is bigger than your following!" "Yeah well you don’t have a dad!" "I do too! He’s just not here; he’s off doing important god things!"

7:43 am:

Uh oh. We're up to the lecture about only calling on jesus/god when we are sick or need help and not just a regular "hey mom, love you, no I don’t need money but thanks" call.

7:47 am:

....something about jesus having a wall?

7:48 am:

When discussing how jesus created all language, she said, and I quote "we are all his chillens."

7:53:

Some people on the train are rebelling. Everyone has been quietly ignoring her, and she's steadily getting louder, up on her soapbox. Several train passengers have asked her to shut up. She has not taken that particular hint. She's giving us a common enemy...never a good thing unless you are ok with mutiny.

7:54 am:

Not a fan of called "my dear brothers and sisters" from someone yelling on a train.

8:01 am:

Update: she’s up to 35 minutes. No sign of vocal cords breaking down.

8:03 am :

Oooh a very loud soliloquy about judgement day. Lady, you're late! Yom Kippur was last week! I was judged, I’m good for another year!

8: 04 am:

Started at Newkirk Plaza in Brooklyn, ended at 34th/Herald in the city. Did not get to nap on the train this morning.

8:05 am:

New Yorkers on a train came together and breathed an audible sigh of relief when she got off. One muttered "I hate people!" Oh wait, that might have been me.

8:05 am:

Don't you just love it when people come together against a common enemy?

8:06 am:

It's over. Back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Artist rendering of someone who thinks it's okay in civilized society to get up and start telling a crowd full of groggy people on a Friday that they need to believe in this one specific thing or they are all going to H-E-double hockey sticks.

It was at this point that my journey ended and I got off the train, got a large Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and meandered into work. 

Like this, but bigger and MINE, ALL MINE.