There is a Thin Line Between Funny and Terrible.

I don't care WHAT you get/are getting for Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa or Festivus. Your holiday is lame and so are your siblings. Now, I am not just randomly calling your brothers lame for no reason.

MY SISTER GOT ME A SET OF 4 STAINLESS STEEL SPORKS. Your argument is invalid.

Look at it. IT IS MAGNIFICENT.

Non-sequitor:
I have noticed that sometimes people are unsure whether to laugh at me or with me. I have chosen to take that as a comment on my genius. I am so hilarious and highbrow that sometimes people don’t get it. PHILISTINES!

However, I realize it is a very thin, teeeeny little line boundary between hilarious and groan-worthy. Having said that, I adore puns. To me, they are the best of groan-inducing hilarity that life has to offer. One of my absolute favorites is “I mustache you a question. But I’ll shave it for later!” and of course, the ever-awesome animal puns, which luckily for you, I posted below, but further below than the mustachioed dude.

Speaking of mustaches.

If that’s wrong, then I don’t want to be right. Not in any other sense, though. Just ask Boyfriend or my brothers. I am ALWAYS RIGHT! Actually, I take that back. Don’t ask any of them, just ask me. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

Now, I have to admit, I have been known to step a toe over, straddle, perhaps even high jump over the line before. Not that I care. If I think I'm funny, any dissenters can go suck an egg. :)

And now, in lieu of being hysterically funny for all of you all by my lonesome, I have decided to treat you all to some wonderful puns! Now, I totally get that some of these may make you groan. Some are longer, some are shorter. Just take a deep breath and prepare to be amused. And there is a surprise at the bottom! Click on them to enlarge any of the pictures.

If you don’t find this amusing, you are dead to me. Ahh! I don't know why so blurry!

This will eventually get old. BUT NOT YET.

90s flashback pun!

Sad that the other guy is so mad at the Punny McPun! I liked it. :)

 And now, to end with something that isn’t a pun AT ALL. It is a supercute picture of Cookie Monster, who happens to top my list of all-time favorite monsters who love cookies. Followed at a close second by the Yeti. Partially because Yetis are rad and love cookies, and partially because “yeti” plays in Scrabble.

Omfg, too cute. This is so cute it make me angry. That's how adorable it is.

I showed the above picture to Boyfriend, explaining that it was so cute that it made me want to shark-punch a baby. He responded by letting me know that the proper rules of etiquette dictate that punching babies is not acceptable in society, as of yet. WELL THEN. 

Either way, my other friend was not clear on what shark-punching was. She hazarded a 3 part guess:
1) You punch someone in the neck like you'd try to punch an attacking shark's gills.
or
2) You make your hand look as shark-like as possible while you're going in for the punch.
or
3) You make a fake fin over your head with one hand while you punch the crap outta someone.

While 2 and 3 both intrigue me, and of course they are all correct, I had to try out my shark-punchin' face and grade it on it's intensity and the ability to strike fear into people's hearts. Here it is, in all of it's glory.

This is my shark-fin-headpiece, and my "I am about the moderately assault your person in the chestal (or facial) region with my metacarpals in the form of...SHARK!"