A Poem About Thieves In The Night

I lay my head down, 

To sleep, perchance to dream?
Nestled in cool sheets.

I wanted beautiful feet.

Free of callus, 

Free from dryness from sweating at the gym. 

So I draw a fresh sock

Upon each foot,

After wondrous moisturizing cream,

To make them beautiful.

Feet, be warm, 

Be moisturized and soft and lovely!

And to sleep I went, 
Softly floating,
Vaguely dreaming,
Dawn not yet a hint on the horizon. 
Stars shone bright, 
The night grew weary,
Pushing back the day.

Eventually, morning broke
Not to be held back any longer.
And me, waking
To the blaring of a rude alarm
That intruded on my bliss.

I reach, I snooze,
I stretch and smile.
I wake, reluctantly,
Before reaching for the day.

At first, I did not notice.

Just started to go about my morning.

Then, suddenly, I realized

I was no longer wearing socks!

What mystery! 

What defeat!

What trick of thieves of

Night is this?

Who would dare disturb my slumber

And take from me my socks?

Even the dryer waits until 

I am no longer standing next to it!

Thieves in the night,

You will not prevail!

I will avenge my stolen articles!

I will not stand for your rudeness, 
Your coarseness, your uncivilized, offensive ways!
You will stand trial for your crimes,
For I am nothing if not vengeful,
And adorable and polite and nice to have around. 

On the other hand, 
Though they were taken from my person
And my bubble of space was clearly breached,
At least you didn't run away with them
And hide them in your secret dungeon
Stuffed full with the possessions that 
You've stolen from the innocent while
They sleep their unknowing slumber. 

Whatever nefarious things you did,
Whatever the things you put those poor socks through,
For some reason, 
You left them neatly folded next to my side of the bed.
I suppose it would've been even more
Befuddling if you'd left them somewhere else.
Like the bathroom, or hanging on the ceiling fan. 

I suppose I should appreciate
That at least you recognized that they were not your socks to keep, 
Oh, Thieves of the Night, and 
At least allowed me to retain possession 
Of my own stolen socks.

Yet, there will be no forgiveness!
For I am still the vengeful sort!
Perhaps I'll find your secret dungeon
And start some thieving of my own!
And then you'll see.
And then you'll learn
What type of person you have messed with. 

You'll know not to take
What isn't yours, before
Oddly bringing them back to the scene of the crime,
Neatly placing them near the person you'd stolen from. 
I'll show you how it feels!
To have your innocence so shattered!
You'll think twice next time, 
Perhaps you'll have learned your lesson!
Vengeance shall be mine!