Gender Expectations?

I just read an article on Thought Catalog about 24 things you can do to be more of an old-school gentleman. A lot of it was good advice and common sense, like owning at least 1 suit and being able to wear it comfortably. Some of it was odd, like having a “Signature drink.”

But some of the people in the comments went NUTS. Men were saying over and over things like “take your gender stereotypes and shove it!” and saying “If I wrote an article on how to be a lady, I’d get lambasted!” They didn’t use the word “lambasted” but I put it there because it’s an awesome word and they should have used it.

Why are we so up in arms about being a “gentleman” or a “lady”? Are these terms now coming to mean that being one or the other is the only way to be classy? To get laid?

I don’t understand why we can’t have more articles like “Ways To Be A Nice Human Being” and “Common Sense Says These Things Are Attractive To The Opposite Sex.”

Mind blowing logic.

Here’s the thing. I am a classy chick. I can speak eloquently, use proper grammar, dress appropriately for an occasion, and not offend people every time I open my cakehole (I'm not a huge fan of pie).

I also fart and then giggle when Boyfriend notices, practice evil laughs when I’m at home alone, slam doors sometimes when I’m really mad, dance like a weirdo to make people laugh, talk in strange accents sometimes without noticing, and curse like a sailor when I feel like it.

Does that mean that I’m not a “lady”? Maybe to some people it does. But mostly I think it means I’m just me. Normal, human being me. Flawed, interesting, certainly imperfect, fun, silly, weird.

Why does it have to be offensive for a guy to ask me to cook? Because that is where we’re at. The thought catalog article said in one of it’s points was that men shouldn’t expect a woman to cook for them and they should know how to cook themselves. A commenter (rightly) pointed out that these days, if a man were to say the same thing about a woman, that he’d be told he was sexist and shouldn’t ask her to cook for him.

You know who's having a good day? THIS GUY! Fire!

The thing is, women’s rights, gay rights, civil rights, these are all huge, real, and important social issues. The woman’s right to choose, for instance, is important and shouldn’t be decided by the government (most of whom are men). The LGBT’s right the a legally recognized marriage shouldn’t be decided by religion, but by the fact that they are humans, full citizens, and deserving of the same rights as heterosexual unions. Just because YOU don’t want to get married to another person of the same sex as you certainly shouldn’t mean others can’t.

Just because you like the X-Files doesn’t mean I have to watch it or like it, too.

But the smaller things, we may be taking too far.

It’s not sexist if my boyfriend asks me to make dinner because he’s tired. Or if I ask him to go move the car, since he’s still wearing pants and I’m not. It’s just a natural give and take of a relationship.

ANY relationship. My friends, guys and girls alike, are not feeling marginalized by any of this.

Maybe we've gotten to a point as a society that we are just a little TOO careful about being PC, and not caring enough about the bigger issues. No, I am not "height challenged." I'm just short. That's not offensive, what's offensive is you thinking I'd be pissed off about something that stupid.

Bigger issues than being PC, being a "lady" or "gentleman," and the X-FIles: DOLPHIN-FLIPPIN' EVERYTHING. There are wars being fought, revolutions being waged, people living and dying, and the world at our feet. Perhaps we should worry more about the growing issue of childhood obesity in the US and less about giving each kid a "participation trophy."

If I ever have a kid, don't ever give it (after the age of about 6) a participation anything. The kid either won, placed, or didn't. I think we should be teaching our kids how to lose gracefully and how to aim high, as opposed to telling every single child that they are a special snowflake who is perfect in every way and can do everything amazingly. Statistically, not every kid can be an astronaut or president. I'm not saying we should crush children's dreams, I'm saying I don't think it's right to tell EVERY kid that they won when they did not win.

Whoa. Rant over!

Things I have put a lot of thought into lately:

New Zealand, long flights, and how Billy Joel is amazing and if you don’t agree with that, then meet me in the parking lot at 3 for some explosive hand gestures and some ridiculously excessive smack talk, because IT IS ON.