Like many others in the world right now, I am a moderate, channel-flipping watcher of the Olympics. If I happen to flip past it while something interesting is happening, I’ll stop for a few minutes before moving on. I don’t go out of my way to watch it, though when I do, I find it interesting enough.
Yesterday I caught a few minutes of men’s skeleton and cross-country skiing. Cross-country skiing is weird. They look ridiculous, kind of run-skiing and pushing off all in unison. Some are in tracks, some aren’t, I don’t get it.
Skeleton is basically facedown ice-sledding on a luge course. It looks pretty cool, they go 80 miles an hour, but I have no idea how this is a sport. People train for this? How? Where might one go to find a giant luge course thing to practice on?
You know what IS a sport and should be a part of all Olympic gatherings?
Ski ballet. Cheesus crust why isn’t this still a thing? This is amazing and majestic and ridiculous. I need this in my life. The only thing that could possibly make ski ballet any better was if they wore those spandex-y figure skating outfits or if they did it in pairs. SYNCHRONIZED SKI BALLET.
WHY is it no longer an Olympic sport?? If bowling is, then this definitely should be. Look at the grace, the outfits, the pure joy of movement!
Dear God, it’s me, Margaret.
Please, please, for the love of you, give the world back ski ballet on an international platform in skimpy outfits and in synchronized pairs and groups. Please. I’ll be really good and make my bed every single day! I swear to you that I will stop cursing loudly for no apparent reason, if you do this for me. Ooooh...wait. I said cursing for NO reason, right? Because I really can’t promise I would stop cursing all together, that seems like a little much. Um...I can promise something else though? Maybe that I’ll stop eating pork? Because I can totally do that. I mean, I don’t even eat all that much pork now, and to be honest, I really like beef and turkey bacon, even though people who love bacon tend to agree that beef and turkey bacon is not real bacon. They’re wrong, it’s delicious. They should really just give it a shot, though I adore real bacon, too. Where was I? Oh, yes. Oh, please please please let the world have the magnificence of ski ballet once again. Thanks.
Love, Me.
The Olympics are cool and all. The long-held tradition of each nation bringing forth their most gifted athletes, who then battle it out individually for a chance at greatness. To the death!
...wait, wait. We aren’t in ancient Rome? No one dies? WELL THEN. The games have changed.
I wonder how to gods up on Olympus feel about us playing these games for medals, declaring the best of each sport in the world. Do they feel it is a tribute to them and allow us our competition? Or do they believe we are making a mockery out of Olympus and are slowly planning our complete annihilation?
Either way, congrats to the Olympians. And it is somewhat entertaining to watch.
I feel bad saying that, because these people have trained for most of their lives, hours a day, often missing out on fattening foods and late night parties in the prime of their teen years for the chance to one day, ONE DAY, hold that gold medal in their hands, proof that their dedication, hard work, and perseverance have paid off.
And I just flip the channel.
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| I wouldn't be so fast to change the channel if THIS was happening. |
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