I don’t get it. I have no idea what I have done to piss off the weather gods. It was gorgeous out last week and over the weekend, and spring definitely sprang up, all warm and fuzzy and beautiful, like a little baby kitten named Captain Fluffypants from the womb.
It lasted approximately 1.7 blinks, and then on Wednesday I woke up to snow.
WHYYYYYYYYY do the weather gods hate me so? I am just a little Florida girl who moved north to explore the unknown, and now they have heaped snow and ice and cold upon me!!
I am so done with winter. Seriously, so so done. And not only is it freezing outside, but my office is boiling hot inside, with the heat at 1000 degrees.
It’s like NYC wants everyone to be sad and just leave! Although, something that annoys me about NYC is that in order to leave NY to go to NJ (or anywhere south), you have to pay $15 bucks for the bridge, so you are punished when you try to escape, but then when you want to come back, you have to pay another $13 for the SAME bridge to get back in. Punished for leaving, and punished for coming home.
News flash: NYC does not want you.
But I want it, and so does everyone else, and that is why we put up with paying ridiculous bridge tolls, train delays, and crowded sidewalks filled with idiots who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures and chat while people flow around them like a river around rocks.
Of course, unlike the river, some of those people may say something rude or glare disparagingly at the rocks.
New York has a lot going for it. Amazing shows, museums, shopping, and some great parks. Very cool open markets and block parties, and you can buy pretty much anything here. I feel like if I needed to buy Uranium or a suitcase that has been converted into a refrigerator or a full working Iron Man costume, I could get it here.
What do I do, you may ask, to take advantage of this city full of diversity and culture? Eat Chinese food while watching the Big Bang Theory, thanks for asking.
I do love NY, despite it’s shortcomings. At heart, I am a city girl. I love the distinct and diverse neighborhoods, the brownstones, the fact that I can get any type of food for $10 or less, and that the trains are 24/7.
I do not love NY winters. This winter has been super cold with a ton of snow. Do you know what happens when it snows, and then rains and then snows again, with no warmer days to help melt? The answer is a thick sheet of ice covering everything, and that itself being covered by deceptively non-slide-y looking snow.
Our car was locked into a parking spot for almost 3 weeks, before it all melted enough to get into it and out of the spot.
Boots are helpful, but cannot shield you from all possible slip-sliding around.
Also, it’s totally freezing cold! So you bundle up in your 6 layers of clothes for the walk to the train, only for the train to be too warm, so you slightly unbundle and just suck it up, rebundle to walk to work, and then unbundle completely in your 1000 degree office.
It’s a whole process.
And I’ve actually seen women wearing high heels during these treacherous times. What could possibly possess you to wear high heels in NYC in the middle of an ice or snow day? Is adding a couple inches to your height more important to you than possibly breaking an ankle? I just don’t get it. Aside from the fact that the whole top of your foot is exposed to subzero temperatures!
Chicks be crazy, yo.
This winter has been my very own neverending story. And apparently, it is still not over. The best part about living in the north is the fall and spring. GIVE ME SPRING, WEATHER GODS, OR I SHALL WAGE WAR UPON YOU AND ALL THAT YOU STAND FOR AND LOVE.
My wrath is not a delicate, gentle thing. It is very wrath-like, I assure you. Don’t let my sunny optimism and sometimes-charming innocence fool you! Though it has fooled many others. People think I’m nice. NICE, ME? Pffft. I’m not nice. YOU DON’T KNOW ME. Well, that’s ludicrous, at least some of you know me. Or DO YOU?
*Cue Twilight Zone music now.*
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