Healthy Debates, i.e. Yelling At That Guy At The Bar

I love a good argument. I love to debate, offer my opinion, tell someone that they are unequivocally wrong, and dumb-looking to boot. I adore being right, and you know what they say...if you’re losing an argument, start correcting the other person’s grammar. And my mom is an English and Reading teacher. Grammar is my bitch! Take that, Grammar! Muahahhahahahah! (That was supposed to be an evil laugh. I have it on only sort-of-ok authority that I don't do a very good evil laugh, so maybe it comes across better in text? Sure, we'll go with that.)

There is one exception. I do like actually debating religion, in general, especially with my stepdad. But I don't like to with strangers anymore. It just too often turns into one side yelling "because G-d SAYS SO!" while the other side goes "Yeah, but WHY?!" repeatedly. And I'm not out to offend people, I just wanna have fun. Like all girls.

*Cough. I don’t believe in Jesus. Cough.*

I also like to argue with strangers! If someone at the bar is talking out loud in my vicinity, that’s fair game to join the conversation. I mean, hey, I'm still in the land of free speech, right? THAT’S RIGHT. So, if you are going to sit next to me at a bar, and suddenly launch into an awkward monologue about why women should never have gotten the vote, and how we’re screwing up everything, be prepared to throw DOWN. 

Verbally. I don’t do physical fights. Um....hello? I might break a NAIL. And then where would we be? I’d have to dig my nail file out of my bizarrely-overstuffed purse, even though it really isn’t that big and I don’t feel like I carry THAT much in it, and I will file down the ragged edge of my nail right there in front of your bloody face. And you know that scrittttttch-sraaaatch nail file sound is going to drive you nuts while you’re writhing on the floor in pain from my punch to your face. I mean, most likely, you probably have a piece of my fingernail stabbing you in the eyeball or something. You should really get that out, it might cause irritation. Much like your words cause on my brain, but in a more obvious-to-everyone-else sort of way.

Sometimes, when I’m arguing...or talking...or thinking about stuff...I somehow go off on an amusing yet random tangent that started out sort of having something to do with the original topic, but kind of morphed into a storyline that, in the end, had nothing at all to do with anything that had been discussed previously. It’s like a story within a story. STORYCEPTION! Moral of Storyception: I am either delightfully amusing, or I’m turning into my mother. I mean, technically it could be both, but she’s MY mom and I think I would know if she were delightfully amusing. Sheesh. This is a woman who actually wears white cotton socks with open toed sandals just because she knows it drives me insane. WHY does it drive me crazier than a mime in an actual box, you ask? Because it looks terrible! If you’re feet get so cold that you need socks under the sandals, wear different shoes! Arg!

….what was I talking about?  

Oh, yeah. I like arguing with people about almost anything. I feeling like it’s a good way to learn new things and points about stuff you are passionate about, and a good way to gauge people. If someone is really aggressive, or super passive, or fights dirty, or is just plain MEAN, or if they also enjoy intelligent debates about random topics, arguing with them will tell you that.

I don’t have a dog, so I need a different way to judge people’s character. Though, really, I don’t think that’s the best way anyway, because animals and small children REALLY seem to like me, and I am a terrible, lamentable, kind of deplorable, just really crapperific person. I’m also a big fan of synonyms. And remember when “bad” meant “good”? Yeah, it totally still does. I am awesome, dammit! :)