Short Funny Poems. Yay!

So, I started out this post by toying with children's nursery rhymes. Tweaking them slightly, making it a bit more fun (for me, anyway!) Here are the ones I messed with. :)

Rain, rain, go away,
Come back when I’m sleeping.
If you endure,
I will lure
All the rainbows into my keeping.


^^That was not as menacing as I thought it was going to be when I first started writing that little stanza. I was planning to go with something more about getting revenge against the rain...but this is what came out, so okay, then.


Star light, star so bright,
So many stars I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
I’m trying to sleep, could you turn off the darn light?!


^^This could also be acceptable to shout at that ONE random lamppost that somehow ALWAYS manages to shine into my window. No matter where I live. I think it’s stalking me. Creeping in shadow, following my path, learning my habits, then BAM! Light in the face.


One, Two
Tie my shoe.
Three, Four
Lock the front door.
Five, Six
Picking up tix,
Seven, Eight
Jamming to the band ‘til late.
Nine, Ten
Encore! Do it again!

And then I somehow got into doing some haikus. And not just ANY haikus, but ones about life, and other random stuff! These were pretty fun. I will say, though, that perhaps I am WAY too into haikus today... 


A haiku for Monday mornings:
Buzz buzz buzz buzz SLAP.
I hate you, I hate you. Ugh.
Fine. I am awake.


A haiku for Thursday mornings:
Woo! I am awake!
Yay, thank god it’s Friday now!
Crapit. Wrong again.

A haiku on coffee:
Brown muddy liquid
Gold, you make my brain happy.
Want you in my blood.


A haiku for Sunday afternoons:
Laundry: Do yourself!
So selfish, with your demands!
Wash, dry, fold, hang, wear.


A haiku for Thanksgiving:
I love family!
So much food, so little time.
Turkey coma nap.


A haiku for shopping on Black Friday:
Give me that shirt, Bi**h!
These shoes belong to me now!
Giiiiiiiirl, I will cut you!


A haiku for a sunny day in NYC:
Sun shines down on me.
Napping under shady tree.
Do not steal my purse.


Haiku-ing at work:
Computer, don’t die!
I need you! I love you, please!
Do not fail me now.


A haiku about my lack of patience:
Get out of my way!
I hate waiting, long lines suck
I have no patience.

I miss hand-written
Letters, so personal, and
I love getting mail!


What my cat thinks about:
I am the king here.
That girl is my serving wench.
Feed me, wench! Purr purr.


What the dog thinks:
Oh my god, you’re home!
I missed you so very much!
Let’s go play outside!

New twist on an old joke :)
Knock, knock, who is there?
Interrupting cow out here!
Inter-moo-moo-moo-moo-moo!

Holy cow, there are more haikus there than I originally thought. Oh, well! Go, write some haikus! Feel free to share them with me, especially if they are either really funny or horrifically terrible. Those 2 general categories are my favorite kinds of categories! You know what else is fun? Sometimes, when I am at the gym working out, I do the workout in time to whatever song I am listening to. And sometimes, I think about how I would change a lyric here and there to make the song COMPLETELY different. Perfect example: In the song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars (more on my thoughts on that song found here), if you change "catch" to "throw," then he is singing about how he is going to get back at a girl who didn't love him and kissed with her eyes open (still weird) by throwing grenades at her. Also, he could add some stuff about napalm and guerrilla warfare. Could be verrrrrry interesting!