Why is it ok for complete and utter strangers to ask newly married couples when they are having kids, or regular couples when they are going to get married? These are common, yet rude questions. I mean, I get that it’s usually done with good intentions, but you know what they say about those...
What if the answer is “we can’t have kids, but thanks for bringing that up in public, I’m going to go cry in the corner now.” or “We aren’t getting married because one of us only has a week to live. GUESS WHICH ONE.”
More importantly, why is it ok for strangers to touch a pregnant woman’s belly? I live in New York. New Yorkers have a healthy respect for everyone’s personal space. Maybe because there are so many of us here, and we have to guard that little bubble, so we respect it. A LOT.
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| Probably because we have all been here. |
If I were pregnant, I’m PRETTY POSITIVE that the last thing I’d want to hear is a story from the cashier at the Stop n’ Shop about how her aunt’s-cousin’s-sister almost died while giving birth.
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| Terrifying. |
Even though I’m not planning on having kids right now, I feel like I need to put this out there. If you ever see me, ever, and I am pregnant, or with anyone who is or might be pregnant, for the love of cheese, don’t tell me about how your friend once had a miscarriage, your aunt nearly bled out during birth, or how your own labor was so painful that even 10 years later, you feel the ghost of the pain on rainy nights.
How can people not see that that is horrific and rude and terrifying to a woman about to shove a tiny human out of her??? Oh jeez, now I am thinking about that and it sounds scary.
Speaking of. Birth is weird. Babies are weird.
I love kids. Not just like them, like a lot of people. I may be childless, but I’m an incredibly loving aunt to three shorties whom I adore more every day. I like to smile and wave at stranger’s children who stare at me at TJMaxx or in restaurants. I like babysitting and playing with kids and just seeing what comes out of their weird, imaginative heads.
But that does not mean that I romanticize kids. Kids are sticky, loud, annoying at times, they look kind of alien-y for those first few weeks, and they makes messes out of anything. They’re also a gigantic responsibility and money-pit, too, but I digress.
I told my brother once that watching his kids go from infants to growing up, was somewhat like having a puppy that slowly learns to talk. Unlike some people (like the ones on stfuparentsblog.com!!), he thought that was both accurate and hilarious.
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| This dog has a lot to say, if only someone would listen! |
Kids are amazing. They don’t have the limits yet that life puts on us as we get older. ANYTHING is possible, anything can happen, everything is brand new to them. It’s so cool.
I took my niece to her first movie in a movie theater when she was about 3 and a half. She was SO EXCITED. We were on the way, and she kept saying “Aunt Jyssica, I can’t believe we’re going to a MOVIE. THIS IS SO EXCITING.” And then she’d ask, “Aunt Jyssica...what’s a movie?”
How is that not so frickin’ cute? We saw Tangled, and she did so well in the theater. When sitting on the theater chairs, her tiny feet only came to the end of the chair, but she had so much fun. When was the last time you went to the movies and left having had a magical, amazing, new experience? NEVER, that’s when.
You jaded bastard.
My almost-4-year-old nephew wants to be a train when he grows up. A TRAIN. He doesn’t want to be a train conductor or a railroad worker or someone who collects train tickets. He wants to grow up and magically one day turn into Thomas the Tank Engine. That’s awesome.
For my nephew to be that excited and into trains is just cool. Obviously, he can’t become a train. At least, not without some extensive and expensive surgeries. But it’s so cool that he loves them so much that he would literally become one if he could. I love cheese like that. If eating too much string cheese and eventually becoming a piece of string cheese was a legitimate danger in life, I’d have been long cheese-ified and eaten. Probably by Boyfriend. He likes cheese, too.
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| Christ on a cracker, I love cheese. |
I also have a little 11 month old niece. I don’t know what she wants to be yet, but I can tell you this: There is no cuter kid in the world than her in her footie PJs that have a giraffe-head hoodie and a tail on her little baby butt. If this kid wants to be a giraffe when she grows up, then I flippin’ SUPPORT THAT!
I don’t know why, but some people feel the need to explain to kids that stuff isn’t real. My 6 year old niece recently told me that her classmates have teased her and told her that fairies aren’t real, when right now, she believes they are.
Listen here, parents of 1st graders in DC: Suck it. If my niece wants to believe, at 6 years old, that fairies exist, then I am encouraging that stuff and you better keep your Debbie Downer kids away from imagination-land. You don’t see my Jewish niece running around telling your jerky kid that Santa isn’t real. Because this kid is encouraged to have as much imagination as possible and to believe in kid stuff while she still can, and no one needs your mean little stickyfaced 6 year old saying any differently.
We sat down and practiced saying “I can believe whatever I want!” to other kids who try to tell her what is and isn’t real.
Being an aunt has been among the most rewarding experiences of my life. Some people say that they “feel old” as their friends and family members are getting married or having kids, or as they approach 30 (which isn’t even one-third of the average allotted life span of an average American person), but not me. I feel young. I feel young and silly and like I’m still growing and learning all the time. I feel like I have so many great people and things in my life and that I have about a bajillion more amazing experiences and people to come in my life in the future. Why wouldn’t I look forward to that?! And having the nieces and nephews to love and watch grow (too fast, stay this little forever!), just makes getting older even better. You have new tiny people to toss around in the air, wrestle with, tease, and teach things to. Love it!
Right this moment, though, I’m mostly looking forward to skydiving in New Zealand. :)
**Things I have put a lot of thought into lately: zebras, skip-its, and string cheese. And penguins. I’m always thinking about penguins.
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