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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Apparently At Some Point, I Became An Adult.

10 years ago this month, I graduated high school with my 3 best friends, my family in attendance, and all the freedom that conveys. 

10 years ago this month, I graduated from community college with an Associate's degree in Mass Communication.

7 years ago this month, I graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor's degree in Anthropology, with my best friends and family in attendance, with all the confusion that step conveys.

Because my college has you walk in alphabetical order by major, my group was first, and I think I was 4th or 5th across the stage. My family graciously waited about another 10 minutes before looking at the horde of people still waiting to walk across the stage, and stepped up to the railing to look down on me with pride, happiness, and a wave to let me know they were all leaving and would see me at the party at Grandma's house whenever I could get away.

About 15 minutes after that, I snuck out, grabbed my friends, and left for the party. No judgment! There was another 1000 or so people to get through!

It's funny to realize how long it's been since then. In some ways, it feels like a lifetime ago, and in others, like it was just yesterday.

I wouldn't go back, I love my life, and the path it took to get me here. And I remember being that overconfident 20 year old, out to face the world and bring it down around my feet, brick by brick. 

The ambition is still there. I'm still driven and want to be more and do more and get better at work. But that ambition is tempered with maturity, education, experience, and more. 

The years between high school graduation at 17 and around 22-23, I think those were my main growing years. The years in which I figured out who I was, who was important to me, the power and grace of forgiving people who have wronged you, and in learning from my mistakes instead of holding too tightly to regret.

Those were the years in which I made the most mistakes, got my heart broken, and probably broke a heart or 2 as well. The years in which I learned just how lazy I could be, and in contrast, just how hard I would work at something when it mattered.

I learned how to manage money, pay my own bills, study correctly, and do my taxes. I was taught how to write a resume, what it means when friends "just grow apart," and just how little sleep I needed to live.

I also learned that real friendships last, no matter how far away you live from each other, and how sometimes friendships can break up when you're living in the same house. That one taught me that even when it's not your fault, and you both tried, it still leaves you feeling guilty and lonely for awhile. But the other one taught me that distance makes so difference with real friends and those 3 are still here, 14 years and another state later.

Those were the years in which I fully realized how important family is. How a family member might come and rescue you from yourself and take you home with them and let you heal, and not ask too many questions. How your big brother is no longer this all-knowing magical hero, but is a real person with problems, who talks to you about them and values your input. How your mom isn't a know-it-all who just wants to ruin all your fun, but this real, dynamic, flawed person, just like you. And how right they always were about almost everything. How rewarding it is to become an aunt, and have this new life and new generation to love and grow with.

At the end of that time period, around 23 or so, I started to really learn what being an "adult" meant. I'd been on my own for years by then, paying bills and working full time, but it was around that time that I started to think about teenagers as idiots, bedtime as not being 3 am, and "going out" not as house parties, but as dinner and a movie or seeing a band. 

I started to value sleep a LOT more, think things through a little more before I did them, and really think about what I wanted with my career and my future. I even had a retirement account!

4 years ago this month, I moved to NYC at 23. Moving by yourself to a place where you don't know anyone is a huge learning experience! But in between the weird or crappy roommates, the not-so-great first job here, the struggle to meet people and build a new life, I also found new friends, new experiences and adventures, new confidence, a new career, and the love of my life. 

1 year ago this month, I started working at my current job! I started in the staffing industry in a new career path and I LOVE IT!

For some reason, I feel like I'm on the cusp of the rest of my life. Maybe it's my upcoming birthday (which I'm excited about, I love getting older!), or that this month marks so many great and memorable anniversaries for me. Perhaps it is that nice round big-sounding "10 year high school reunion" that I keep getting notifications about! Maybe I'm becoming more adult than ever before. Heck, I've even done my OWN taxes the last few years and am talking about buying property at some point in the future! I know what a mortgage is, and how to get one. 

For whatever reason, I feel like I'm standing just at the edge of the rest of my life, and I can't wait to see what happens next. 

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